Why Nicole Richie is a GODDESS and Paris Hilton is an IDIOT!!!

Having watched "The Simple Life" maybe a total of maybe 3 times (watching a piece here and there, changing the channel, watching 3 or 4 minutes the next week, etc.), my initial feelings about the two girls have changed DRAMATICALLY. Here I am, over a year later, with COMPLETELY different opinions of each "woman" than what I had initially. First off, let me just say that I dont KNOW either Nicole or Paris, so my observation(s) may be completely off- these are very "third-person looking from the outside perspective" opinions, but are my opinions nonetheless.

Nicole Richie has grown into this physically LOVELY specimen (no doubt from pushing back from the table--good job Nicole- that jawline is TIGHT and that toussled bob brings you more sophistication than any Dior rag ever could!), while Paris has morphed into this caricature of her public persona---which was a caricature to begin with. Let's start with Nicole. Having dropped (I would guess) anywhere from 10 to 20 pounds, she no longer comes across to me as the slightly pudgy, poor-little-rich-racially-ambiguous (confused?) sidekick to one of the most "photographed" society bitties to come along since Nan Kempner DEFINED that role in her day. Wait a minute, Paris is NOT a socialite (which implies training, schooling, and a certain amount of class and mystique), she is simply- by her own admission-an HEIRESS (which just means she was the right egg in Kathy's ovarian tube at the right time!). I would submit that she isn't an HEIRESS, but an HEIR-HEAD, but lets stay on topic. Nicole has developed a PERSONALITY, an EDGE (due, I'm sure, in part to her rather FIERCE former drug habit and her subsequent triumph over it). She has also developed a LIFE outside of Bungalow 8, becoming engaged to her DJ fiance. I used to think that she was Paris' sidekick, when in actuality, it seems that Paris needed NICOLE to balance her rather DRONE personality and speech pattern. Nicole was the one that made that show only remotely view-worthy, as she was the one that would shake things up. One of the episodes I DID manage to catch was where they were assigned as chambermaids at a motel, cleaning rooms. Of course, no cleaning ever gets done, and they end up ordering ROOM SERVICE to the room that they are assigned to clean. Then, to top things off, Nicole calls down to the front desk to get a maid to come up to the room because the room is dirty! CLASSIC and ENTERTAINING.

You know what's NOT entertaining? Paris' only declarative statement ("that's hot"), which has become as stale as seeing her use one and two syllable words to answer questions on the red carpet. At first, I thought Paris was in on the joke---I thought she knew that her relatively attractive outer frame would speak to the artificial aspects of what people thought she was, and that she was a media-savvy powerhouse that knew to use that to her advantage, a la Madonna (who could disguise our sexual insecurities and primitive societal mores with sarcasm, irony, double entendre and a wink while getting us to open our mouths about things that we never talked about). I even defended her. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Paris is in no way aware of either the joke or these concepts, and instead believes that that very outer frame is the only thing she can bank on. Well, that and the fact that she has more money than should be legal for a "girl" of her intellectual stature to have. I used to revel in the fact that( I thought) she was giving the proverbial middle finger to those who classified her as just a dumb blonde while pulling in MILLIONS in endorsements, book deals, perfume, clubs, and other public relations opportunities. Until I started looking, REALLY LOOKING, at the behind the scenes-namely, the VH-1 show "Outrageous Hilton Moments". I was sitting in front of my television, thinking "does she REALLY think this is cute?". I mean, anyone who goes out of their way to register voters in Diddy's "Vote Or Die" campaign (while being photographed incessantly in one of those ubiquitous t-shirts), yet ISN'T REGISTERED to vote? AND didn't bother to register? And thus, DIDN"T VOTE? What was more pressing than registering---was there a sample sale somewhere or a bare tabletop in Las Vegas that wasn't beeing danced on? And now there's this Carl's Jr. commercial (here), where la Hilton is "washing" a car clad in high-end bikini and stilettos (looking like the WHORE that people have been calling her all of these years), with tight shots of the car THROUGH THE BACK OF HER LEGS concluding with Paris holding an enormous burger the size of Rhode Island to her face about to chomp down on it. Of course, there's no suspense to the end, because if anyone has seen "the tapes", you KNOW that she has NO problem putting huge slabs of meat in her mouth! And maybe that was the director's double entendre; one which, Paris probably hadn't thought of. But I digress...While I can't wait to see what Nicole has in store for us, I just want Paris to go sit down...and READ a book.