BIG money for Will Smith, Madonna, and Kimora...June 27th, 2008

"Big Willie" Weekend Expected for Will Smith, BIG touring bucks expected for Madonna, and Big Money expected to change hands at both Death Row Records and between Russell and Kimora....

This week, while premium gas in my neighborhood is at $4.55 (while, if I lived in Saudi Arabia, a gallon of state-subsidized gas would be .68!!!), the Libertarian party presidential candidate Bob Barr (who, while he has absolutely NO chance of winning, is on the ballot in 30 states and trying to get on in 20 more) is supposedly going to pull a "Ralph Nader" and take votes away from Republican candidate John McCain (like Nader did to Al Gore in 2000). Nader, who reared his ugly septuagenarian head and made headlines this week in his "criticism" of Barack Obama by stating that the next president of the United States Senator from Illinois is not willing to attack "The White Power Structure" and that he is trying to "Talk White", reminded us all exactly why Washington politics needs to CHANGE. While I don't know if its MORE offensive and racially incendiary for a Caucasian to accuse an African-American of being "less black" because of the level of his political success (which has evaded Nader!), for his supposed unwillingness to go up against "the White Power Structure" (which Nader himself is a card-carrying member of AND against whom Nader himself has never REALLY rallied against!) and for his command of the King's English (which Nader himself, and every other educated person, uses!), I DO know that these "race-baiting" remarks are offensive regardless of the source; which brings us to Don Imus, whose most recent comments on race make him less "shock jock" and more "sheer jerk". Comic George Carlin passed away, leaving his unique comedic legacy by cajoling us with the "Seven words you can never say on television" (those words, by the way, are: shit, piss,fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits- and apparently you STILL can't say them on television, but you CAN say them in an online blog!). Bill Gates leaves his legacy as chairman of Microsoft , transitioning out of a day-to-day role in the company to spend more time on his global health and education work at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, and North Korea tries to leave behind its legacy as a member of George Bush's "Axis of Evil" by agreeing to dismantle their nuclear weapons program in exchange for a relaxation of U.S economic sanctions against them. Anyway, here is what is stuck in my craw as this issue of THE REAL RE-Edit goes to press this week:




THE 2008 BET AWARDS, RE-dux
The BET awards came and went this week, seemingly without ANY fanfare, really. I could recall every tedious moment of the show FOR YOU, but I'll just RE-Edit it...

You can see the editted version of the pre-show here

Obviously, I'm either getting too old to understand youth culture, or I'm just a "Saditty Negro" because the Red Carpet/Pre-show made me happy that I didn't watch it live, but instead was able to use the fast-forward button on my DVR. I say this because in my view the pre-show was two hours of Rocsi, Terence, and company eschewing subject/verb agreement and putting the word "at" behind every preposition they could find. Young hearthrobs Soulja Boy (who was a tacky explosion of "questionable" Gucci), Jamaican beef patty Sean Kingston, not-so Young Jeezy, and not-so Pretty Ricky yucked it up for the camera, and V.I.C, Soulja Boy, BUN B, DJ UNK, Polo Da Don & Jermaine Dupri made me feel like I was the 50 year-old dirty old man in the club who covers his ears because the music is too loud when they performed the remix to V.I.C.'s song "Get Silly"- which is EXACTLY what they proceeded to do...
On the grown and sexy side, Gabrielle Union looked pretty in Celine, Alicia Keys looked passable in a poufy dress (although the Sergio Rossi shoes saved the whole look!) and Lil Kim- hiding under a horrible lace-front wig, two tons of foundation, and a pair of ridiculous false eyelashes- looked completely DRAG! Host Terence looked sharp in his Dolce & Gabbana getup and, surprisingly, Rocsi looked relatively pretty in her pre-show dress that she was SURE to let us know was FENDI (even though it was from their SPRING 2007 line!- ahem!).
As for the actual show, it was pretty uninspiring as well, even as the stars THAT ACTUALLY SHOWED UP tried to pump excitement into the laborious production (conspicuous by their absence were Beyonce, Jay-Z, Janet Jackson, Missy Elliot, T.I., Mary J. Blige, Mariah Carey, and anyone else who ACTUALLY HAD A HIT this year!!!). Usher, Ne-Yo, and Chris Brown all looked/sounded alike, Puffy pulled a "Dame Dash" move and unabashedly hawked Ciroc Vodka both during the telecast at the podium and at the televised "After-Party", host DL Hughley was remarkably UNfunny, and Kanye West added a little more credence to his reputation as "the international asshole" when he declared HIMSELF "one of the Kings of this Game", following up that proclamation with "so my opinion counts"...sigh...

There WERE a few highpoints, though. Alicia Keys' performance, while not her best, proved to be among the best, as she carted out old girl groups SWV, En Vogue, and TLC during her set. Perhaps the BEST performance of the night went to Al Green (YES, AL GREEN!) who, after accepting the BET Lifetime Acheivement Award, went on to give a performance of "Love and Happiness" and "Let's Stay Together" that garnered the only true standing ovation of the night.

Aaaaaand SCENE...


QUESTIONS FOR THE ZEITGEIST- JUNE 27TH, 2008


1- She is a MONSTER on the runway, an editorial BEAST, and one of the most beautiful women in the world, but...After Foxy Brown was banished to Riker's Island for HER repeated assaults as a result of HER temper, is it a double standard that Naomi Campbell- who basically perpetrated the same acts (most recently by expectorating on a British Airways pilot) is only given community service AGAIN? I LOVE La Campbell, however with this being her THIRD time facing the same charges that Fox Boogie aka Inga Marchand faced, shouldn't the "three strikes" rule apply?

2- How successful will The Million DJ march (slated for August 28-30th) be?


3- After being implicated as a member of a cocaine distribution drug cartel by one of its members AND being pulled over for DUI in one week, should Young Jeezy just go somewhere and sit down for a minute?


4- Speaking of someone not having a good week...First officials rejected her request to carry the Russian flag at the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony this summer, then she is unceremoniously ousted from Wimbledon in the second round by fellow Russian (and 154th seeded!) Alla Kudryavtseva, 6-2, 6-4. Given how her luck is going lately, shouldn't Maria Sharapova go have a seat (and perhaps, a cocktail) next to Young Jeezy?
4a- Incidentally, how CUTE is her dog 'Dolce' in Sharapova's 2007 commercial for Canon's Powershot digital camera?



5- Speaking of being irresistable in commercials...Shouldn't this kid win a Screen Actor's Guild award or something- not just for his clear enunciation of the word "antidisestablishmentarianism", but also for his knowing smirk in this Dairy Queen commercial?

6- While we're talking about cute kids...Apparently, the courts think that Ming Lee and Aoki Lee, children of hip hop mogul Russell Simmons and queen of conspicuous consumption "Fabulosity" Kimora Lee, are worth big money! On the eve of their divorce, court papers filed state that Lee is looking for Simmons is to pay $20,000 a month in child support for EACH of their children. Can Kimora bring these little women up on a mere $480,000 a year?



7- Fresh off of his knockout punch outside of a LA club a couple of weeks ago, Suge Knight was dealt another blow this week, when his Death Row Record label- including some unreleased Tupac tracks- was auctioned off for $24 million. Can a SECOND attempt at bankruptcy and mortgage foreclosure be far behind?




8- Everyone knows that in the eyes of THE REAL RE-Edit, she is a GODDESS...How EXCITED are we for the premiere of Wendy Williams' television talk show July 14th on Fox?
8a- We LOVE Detroit newsman Charles Pugh! Exactly how much DELIGHT is he getting in asking Wendy "THE Question" during their interview ?





9- The Los Angeles- based concert promotion company 'Live Nation' has reported that Madonna had sold more than one million tickets -- over 90 percent of those available -- for her 42-date global "Sticky & Sweet" tour, which kicks off in Cardiff, Wales on August 23. At almost $200 a ticket, hasn't Live Nation made all their money back on the $120 million they've paid "Madge" for her entertainment, recording, tour, merchandise, and endorsements rights? At $170 a ticket for Jay-Z's "Heart of the City" tour with Mary J. Blige, will they make back the $150 million they recently paid HIM?





10-Tony winner and WASPish ice queen/sex siren Bebe Neuwirth will play Morticia in the upcoming Broadway musical "The Addams Family" in the 2009-2010 season. The role of Gomez has been offered to . . . Nathan Lane. The former Dr. Lilith Crane (of NBC's "Cheers" and "Frazier" fame) and the former Max Bialystock (one-half of one of Broadway's most beloved duos in "The Producers"). How perfect is THAT? Even though NBC has brought 'Lipstick Jungle' back for a second season, shouldn't Brooke Shields be Neuwirth's understudy?

11- Okay, who DOESN"T get a kick out of newcomer Katy Perry relishing in the fact that she may have bisexual tendencies (and that she LIKES it!) in her new song, "I Kissed A Girl"?



12- First his movie, 'Independence Day' takes no prisoners at the box office when it opened on July 2, 1996 to the tune of $50.2 million. Then 'Men In Black' opens on the July 4th weekend in 1997, grossing $51.1 million. Its sequel, 'Men In Black II', opens that same weekend in 2002 and grosses $54.1 million. Now his latest, the flawed superhero 'Hancock', is certain to kick box office ass when it opens on July 2nd. Shouldn't it be common knowledge by now that the July 4th movie weekend belongs to Will Smith?


THE FASHIONISTA FILES...

1- Some laughed at what Lauryn Hill wore onstage at the historic Fugees reunion on the BET awards back in 2005. Does anyone else see any similarity between her onstage effect that night (three years ago!) and Stefano Pilati's current collection for YSL?


(FYI...THE REAL RE-Edit gave Lauryn props waaaay back in 2005...check it out here)


2- Christian Bale sports hand made-to-measure suits whenever he plays Batman's alter-ago, Bruce Wayne, in the new Batman movie. He had the choice of custom made Armani single-breasted or three-button suits, single-breasted tuxedos and black wool coats... Can Toby Maguire as Peter Parker top THAT?


3- The Joneses are keeping UP...Has Kelis' fashion sense finally rubbed off on her husband Nas (shown in this month's COMPLEX magazine in JACKET BY ORTHODOX, WINDBREAKER BY NIKE, BELT BY ORIGINALFAKE JEANS BY DIOR HOMME, SNEAKERS BY DSQUARED2, and SUNGLASSES BY MARC JACOBS )



4- Speaking of keeping up with the Joneses...With the supposed worldwide food shortage attributable to increased consumption from oil-rich Arab states as well as from China, is that same competitive spirit sweeping the fashion industry? Reports abound of affluent Chinese women with yen to spare snapping up high-end and one-of-a-kind pieces coincide with the death of Yves Saint Laurent- and some say the death of couture itself. China, however, is fast emerging as a viable market for the couture client. Should true fashionistas learn the language, move to Hong Kong, Shenzhen, Macau or Wuhan in order to cut those customers off at the past?




5- Even as we fawn over the beautiful images that Steven Meisel gave us of the most stunning black women on the planet in JULY's Vogue Italia, did anybody happen to see the cover and 18-page spread of the JUNE edition of the same magazine, where Meisel (and stylist Andrew Richardson) "reinvent" the fashion industry's QUEEN of reinvention, Linda Evangelista as "The Duchess"?


5a- Does anyone else notice the similarity in feeling between this Linda Evanglista photo (also in the June 2008 "The Duchess" editorial) and the Naomi Campbell photo in July's edition?




















6- Versace does Lamborghini...The Italian fashion house of Versace will design the interior of the new Murcielago LP640 Roadster, according to news circulating during Milan's fashion week for men. The cars, whose interiors will be fitted with black and white leather, will be made on demand so the number to be produced has yet to be determined, a Lamborghini spokeswoman said. Now.. if people aren't buying high-end SUV's because of gas prices, who do they think is going to buy THIS?



7- Never mind separation of church and state, what about church and STYLE? At the intersection of religion and fashion (although some people's religion IS fashion), comes false reports that the current Pope has raised the hemline of his traditional garb to highlight his red Prada loafers. Although it has recently come to light that they are NOT, in fact, Prada (according to Vatican sources, the Pope's shoes are made by a cobbler from Novara named Adriano Stefanelli and that Papal shoe repairs are carried out by Peruvian shoemaker Antonio Arellano ), would it even be appropriate for Pope Benedict to don said label? If 'The Devil Wears Prada', doesn't that mean The Pope...shouldn't?



ACCESS THESE ACCESSORIES!!!


-The following are MY sartorial obsessions this summer...

1- Alber Elbaz does it AGAIN!!! Isn't the Lanvin men's accessories line for Summer 2008 FLY as hell?



























2- While we're on accessories, how HOT is this nylon and leather Salavatore Ferragamo duffle?









3- If your bag MUST match your shoes, isn't Dior Homme's new Fall/Winter 2008 patent leather high-top (paired with the weekender and/or messenger bag) the flyest way to get in and out of Charles de Gaulle or Hartsfield International in STYLE?


4- If your goal is getting through the airport without being bothered by the paparazzi, shouldn't these Jeremy Scott "Gold Toolbox" sunglasses be perched on your face?

5- Even though I WASTED $$$ on his signature cologne (after wearing it on two occasions, I'm OVER it!), how HOT is Tom Ford's latest eyewear campaign?




FLASHBACK...
Long before he was a Man in Black, a Bad Boy, Jada's husband, or a Prince of Bel Air, Will Smith was celebrating the July 4th weekend with backyard barbeques and family reunions, bringing middle-class humor to the gritty hip hop scene. Remember...DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince's "Summertime"?

The Oscar Wrap-up

Picture it: 2007. The Kodak Theatre. Hollywood, California. The creme de la creme of moviemaking assembles for a night of tribute, folly, and recognition. Its February, which in the United States designates Black History Month. In what seems like a coincidence, Five black actors are up for four of the top trophies of the evening. Although some bets are hedged on the chances of all four walking out with those awards, it seems that one- amazingly- is what most people have tuned in for. She arrives on The Red Carpet sartorially turned-out by the great master of elegance, Oscar De La Renta, and the crowd is in awe. What the night holds for this young lady-
let's just call her Jennifer Hudson for now- is what is being deemed the main event.
However, before we are privy what seems like the inevitable, The Red Carpet is rolled out to welcome the invitees and such. Then the TRUE show begins. Weeks- sometimes months- of preparation are needed as designers, stylists and publicists jockey over decisions regarding clothing, jewelry, hair and everything else which is destined to be scrutinized to the Nth degree by those of us sitting in repose on our leather sofas with popcorn and cocktails in hand, ready to take it all in via the miracle of high definition television. Who wears what is perhaps more important than who takes the golden trophy home. Let's consider what was offered, shall we?

Of course, Armani reigned supreme as the go-to choice for the men. Among the women, surprisingly, no one really felt Monique Lhuillier or Kevan Hall- who dominated the red carpet at the Golden Globes. Armani, Zac and Versace saw the most action.

The first gown that made its presence known was Portia Di Rossi, and my night was started off right. DiRossi proved that not all lesbians don flannel lumberjack shirts and severe boycuts, and that some can rock Zac Posen as well as the penis-loving members of her gender. I say if your significant other is the host for the evening, you at LEAST can bring it like this

Ellen wasn't bad either. How can I not be biased by the red velvet Gucci tuxedo she wore- I wore the same suit to a gala a couple of years ago, and its STILL fab! Jodie Foster (hmmm...why am I including her in this paragraph?)
also looked beautiful in this Vera Wang halter dress as well.
Meanwhile, Melissa Etheridge in an ill-fitting men's tux from Domenico Vaca and Tammy Lynn Michaels in a Pamella Rowland gown that looked like an afterthought, on the other hand, looked like they were going to their prom in Podunk, Iowa.



Honorable mentions:
Rachel Wiesz gets an honorable mention. The sheer beauty of the fabric and the expert draping in this Vera Wang made me take notice. The oversized Cartier bling hanging from a thin chain that looks like it barely could support the weight made me cringe. It also fought the sparkling inlay of the decoulletage of her dress. Take off the jewelry and pull that hair back, and we have a fashion moment.



Although its a beautiful color and cut to within an inch of its life, Jessica Biel in this Oscar De La Renta number seemed appropriate. I would have preferred her in something a little more classically elegant.







Celine Dion suprised me in this vintage James Galanos gown.
Elegant, yet understated. The hair was beatiful and flowed well as it shimmied down her back. For some reason, she looked like she was channeling Cher, but with a couture slant. Not bad...


Faye Dunaway in J Mendel. The dress was complete perfection, but someone should advise Dunaway that longer hair on older women only makes you look...older. Take a cue from Helen Mirren, who looks regal in this Christian Dior couture gown.



















Maggie Gyllenhaal is not one of my favorite glamourgirls, but the fact that she wore one of my favorite gowns from Fashion Week- a Proenza Schouler one-shoulder "doolala"- gets her an honorable mention.
I would have preferred a better sculpted effect with the hair and a better effort with the makeup, but I'll take what I can get I guess...











Penelope Cruz was resplendent in Atelier Versace. The dress was beautiful, what with the bottom of the dress being a delicious concoction of silk chiffon, organza and tulle. And THIS
is how you do a chignon!!!


Gwyneth in Zac Posen looked a little washed out. I didn't hate it, I just didn't love it.

Same holds true for Jada Pinkett Smith in Carolina Herrera.


I loved the fact that Meryl Streep, in homage to her latest film, wore Prada.






Jennifer Lopez' signature look was somewhat co-opted by Kate Winslet, who took a cue from La Lopez by wearing a beautifully made goddess inspired Valentino dress with a flawless chignon.
Put a little more "glow" in that skin and it could have been classic JLo, easily...









Reese Witherspoon looked sleeker and more chic than usual in this multi-tiered aubergine stunner. I'm glad she chose to be a little more daring lately, ditching the beautiful vintage drag that she usually trots out for the couture-like elegance of Belgian designer Olivier Theyskens for Nina Ricci. Good job, Reese.


Queen Latifah looked like she was stretching the limits of that Carmen Marc Valvo tuxedo gown, but still managed to look classy.
Looks like somebody's being good to mama...





Favorite couples


Eddie Murphy (who seems to get better looking with age) and Tracy Edmonds beat out Will and Jada as most charming couple. Edmonds, who was stunning in this winningly-crafted Versace creation and elegantly upswept "Maria Calas"-like bun complemented Murphy's gunmetal grey Versace couture tux, BUT...




Forest and Keisha Whitaker were the king and queen of the ball.






And now...The Red Carpet Diva of the night!!!

Nicole Kidman in Balenciaga. Whether it was the elegant bow that hung from the side of this gorgeous "red-carpet red" Balenciaga gown or the seductiveness of the hair swept to the other side,
Kidman ruled supreme this evening.

However, Cate Blanchett in Giorgio Armani Privé- a silver one-shoulder Swarovski crystal mesh gown with tulle overlay and jet black paillette floral motif that left not a centimeter between it and her body-was a close second.













The Best Man
My best-looking man of the evening wasn't George Clooney or Leonardo DiCaprio- surprisingly. Best Supporting Actor nominee Djimon Hounsou was a contender in this chocolate brown Gucci Tux...
And I was taken aback by the stunningly handsome Keith Robinson ("Dreamgirls"), who looked resplendent on the red carpet, but I have to give it up to

Clive Owen in his Armani tux accented with velvet lapels. He represented well for the male contingent.















Now, The "Misses"

(Miss)Cameron Diaz looked like she was donning a twisted up dinner napkin. Although it was Valentino and somewhat modern in scope, it just looked a mess. It didn't help that her hair looked more than distressed.

Mrs. John Travolta, Kelly Preston, missed the mark (and the fashion forecast) when she decided to wear this animal print doozy by Dolce Gabbana (which went out 6 seasons ago).
Perhaps she should have taken her cues from Keisha (wife to Forest) Whitaker. Her Georges Chakra gown, although a little too spring-feeling, was beautifully made and accentuated everything it needed to.



The reason why a lot of people need stylists is because most of us lack the ability to objectively look at ourselves in three dimensions. Surprisingly, Patricia Field- stylist extraordinairre who I can't love enough- turned up in a beautifully made red silk georgette gown by David Dalyrimple for House of Field that wasn't flattering on her! Perhaps if she had taken advantage of some Spanx undergarments, it would have been different. C'mon, Pat- you know better.




(Miss) Beyonce was un-beweaveable once again,
although her Giorgio Armani Privé gown was beautiful.
The whole look just didn't come together well enough for me. C'mon, B, you have me worried here...






Biggest Disappointment

Anne Hathaway was close runner up in this category. You mean to tell me that you starred in one of the most fashion-forward hits of the year, and this Valentino throwaway was all you could come up with on film's most important night ? BOOOO! Go raid the "Runway" closet again...

Almost taking the prize home for biggest disappointmen of the night was Jennifer Lopez. Everyone KNOWS I absolutely worship la boriqua del Bronx, so it pains me to say this. At the Golden Globes, she absolutely shined in Marchesa. She went with Marchesa again and this time...she missed!!!
She looked like she was dressed for bed in a 1940's melodrama. While it may have been forgiving to her figure (fueling speculation that she is with child), it was unforgiving to my vision. No, Jen, NOOOOO!!

However, it would be the OTHER Jennifer- J HUD, that would prove to be the, uhhhh, winner in this category. Word had circulated that Hudson was keeping company with Vogue Creative Editor Andre Leon Talley, and that he would be escorting her to De La Renta for her official Academy Awards "coming out". Alas, hype and expectation led to heartbreak, as Hudson hit the carpet in THIS...

I, for one, was expecting soooo much more. I wanted her to sport an Academy Award Winning updo on her head that signified her official arrival in the annals of both Oscar and fashion history. What I got was tired weave. And that metallic capelet made her look like Ming The Merciless from the Flash Gordon comic series!! I HATED that!!!! At least if she had taken the capelet off and allowed the dress (which WAS beautiful) to shine, it wouldn't have been that bad. I LOVE Hudson- I have pulled for her through the entire awards season. But I have to admit that I was expecting a fashion climax and this was a bit of a denouement. But I digress...


And it goes downhill from there...

Worst dressed just missed Kirsten Dunst who, without regard for a real hairstyle or a better fashion eye, proved you can still look like poor white trash in Chanel haute couture. She should have taken a cue from Rinko Kikuchi, who also gave us Chanel couture but knew how to carry it off. Kikuchi redeemed herself this time because, interestingly enough, she was in Kirsten's place at the Golden Globes, where that Chanel couture dress she wore subjected her to scathing reviews; so much so that I couldn't even stand to show her in my Golden Globes review. In retrospect, I think she should have been glad that Vanessa Williams was there, otherwise she would have walked off with worst dressed- easily. But I digress..

However, Dunst should be glad that Eva Green attended, because it saved her from worst dressed. Green looked absolutely pycho in this Givenchy straightjacket of chiffon, not to be outdone by the madness of her makeup.
What was THAT- Vampira Angelina Jolie meets Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams at a wedding? The WORST!!!








But enough of that. Back to the actual ceremony...


Where were we? Oh yeah...So we sit and wait for this Jennifer Hudson person to be considered in her category. Some of the winners are less than interesting to us, but we sit- rapt and patient- while The Academy of Arts and Sciences systematically honor their own. Winners take the stage, gush and emote at their victory, thank their families and agents, and gracefully make their way off of the stage, happy to be able to use the phrase "Academy Award Winner" as an alternative to their surname which somehow differentiates them from the average civilian. A hilariously deadpan comedian doubles as host and actors try their hand at being comedians. Musical numbers ensue. Those inducted into the club are whisked backstage to answer a barrage of questions from the media, who clamor for that one soundbyte that makes their whole night worthwhile. We are surprised that this whole brouhaha- which in recent years has been incredibly boring- has somehow managed to entertain if not excite us. We tick off our scorecards, as those we routed for sometimes win and sometimes don't. There's even a surprise upset in the Best Supporting Actor category. Then, right after the Pilobolus dance troupe does an interesting interpolation of "Best Animated Feature Film" nominee 'Dancing Feet', the category we've waited for all night. Forget Best Picture and Best Director (although it was GREAT that Martin Scorcese would finally join his contemporaries by winning both!!!), we're here to get to the nitty gritty- WILL Jennifer Hudson reign supreme this evening? The tension is palpable as the nominees are read- Adriana Baraza, Cate Blanchett, Abigail Breslin, Jennifer Hudson, Rinko Kikuchi. Then...Jennifer emerges victorious! She takes the stage (sans the aforementioined metallic capelet), and waxes poetic about the power of God, her grandmother, the genius of her director and the immense talent of her co-stars. Exit stage left with George Clooney. And the rest is history...

A couple of observations...


The most ridiculous (and possibly most shady)part of the evening:
Jennifer Hudson, Beyonce, Eddie Murphy, and Director Bill Condin sit in the first row for the entire show. Meanwhile Anika Noni Rose, Dreamgirl #3- who as a co-star contributed much more to the film than Murphy's date Tracey Edmonds or Beyonce's father Mathew Knowles, is seated SEVERAL rows back and is forced to watch the show from behind Jerry Seinfeld's head. JERRY SEINFELD, who (If you don't include his bit part in last year's "The Aristocrats") has absolutely NOTHING to do with the film industry, was sitting IN FRONT of one of stars of perhaps the most hyped movies of the year!!!! I was insulted for her.

Most creative screentime:
The Piloboulus Dance Troupe bent and molded their bodies into shapes resembling everything from 'Snakes on a Plane' to a human-sized revolver to represent 'The Departed'. Excellent!

The surprises of the evening
-Eddie Murphy upstaged by Alan Arkin for Best Supporting Actor.

-"Marie Antoinette" nabbing best Costume Design from my choice, the lush "Curse of the Golden Flower"

-Jennifer Lopez did NOT serve it the way she usually does.

-Forest Whitaker actually slowed himself down and delivered a decipherable and heartfelt acceptance speech in his win for Best Actor.

-I actually watched the whole damned telecast- and I LIKED it!!!!

Fade to Black...