Happy Birthday to...The REAL Re-edit!!! We turned ONE today!!!
OK, class. As you know, everything we've covered this semester will be on the final exam, so lets have a little review session. What have we learned thus far...
-"Bochinche" can be dangerous; good-natured questioning, however, can expand the mind
=Both people have to believe in the power of their love for a relationship to work
-Underground spot LOVE is THE place to be if you want to hear REAL soul/house music
-Wendy Williams, Nia Long, Genevieve Jones, Margherita Missoni, and Nicole Richie are GODDESSES; Paris Hilton is an idiot
-New York had a very bustling slave trade courtesy of some of its most famous families
-You can always find a gift for "the person who has everything"- because NO ONE has EVERYTHING
-WE need to act like we ALL have AIDS until NONE of us have it
-The movie "Crash" was the shiznit waaaay before it got all of those Oscar nominations
-You can't move forward and beyond failure if you are constantly looking in the rear-view mirror of life
-Supermodels can be stupid/crazy bitches too
-If you're not careful, you can easily get addicted to HGTV
All this we discussed while waxing poetic on the artistic energy of Kehinde Wiley, the coming of the "Christ-like" Brangelina baby, the impending inevitable success of the Dreamgirls movie, the strengths and weaknesses of those positioned on BOTH sides of the judging table of "America's Next Top Model", the "realness" of the groundbreaking television show Noah's Arc, the importance of having truths that you hold self-evident, and so on.
Ah, Good times!!! Can't wait to see what year two will bring...
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Questions for the Zeitgeist- May 27, 2006
1- Victoria Principal is divorcing her beverly hills plastic surgeon husband of 20 years. Is it really because of "irreconcilable differences", or is it because she has had all the work done that she needs?
2- Won't we all be DEVASTATED if Will and Jada ever break up?
3- Now that shock-jock Howard Stern has legally regained control of the master tapes from the last 20 years of his radio show (while Sirius only had to part with $2 million to get them from CBS), can we finally call him The King of All Media- and mean it?
4- Naomi Campbell will celebrate turning 36 with a 3-day birthday bash at Dubai's seven star hotel the Burj Al Arab. She has hired out all 18 floors of the exclusive hotel at a cost of $1.8 million. Her ridiculously wealthy boyfriend of 8 months, Badr Jafr, is rumored to be giving her a "super-diamond". All should be well in Ms. Campbell's world. Why is she so damn MAD all the time? Also, who is her assistant NOW?
5- Has Madonna gotten...
BORING?
6- On May 29th, LaToya Jackson will be 50 years old. Is this what Janet has to look forward to?
7- Why is it that Brangelina can decamp to Africa for some privacy and no one bats an eye; but when David Chapelle does it, he's CRAZY?
7a- Did anyone even notice that Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale had THEIR child, Kingston James McGregor Rossdale, on the same day that Brangelina brought Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt into the world?
2- Won't we all be DEVASTATED if Will and Jada ever break up?
3- Now that shock-jock Howard Stern has legally regained control of the master tapes from the last 20 years of his radio show (while Sirius only had to part with $2 million to get them from CBS), can we finally call him The King of All Media- and mean it?
4- Naomi Campbell will celebrate turning 36 with a 3-day birthday bash at Dubai's seven star hotel the Burj Al Arab. She has hired out all 18 floors of the exclusive hotel at a cost of $1.8 million. Her ridiculously wealthy boyfriend of 8 months, Badr Jafr, is rumored to be giving her a "super-diamond". All should be well in Ms. Campbell's world. Why is she so damn MAD all the time? Also, who is her assistant NOW?
5- Has Madonna gotten...
BORING?
6- On May 29th, LaToya Jackson will be 50 years old. Is this what Janet has to look forward to?
7- Why is it that Brangelina can decamp to Africa for some privacy and no one bats an eye; but when David Chapelle does it, he's CRAZY?
7a- Did anyone even notice that Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale had THEIR child, Kingston James McGregor Rossdale, on the same day that Brangelina brought Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt into the world?
Epiphany...NOBODY has everything!!
This will also be one of those "what is the meaning of life?" posts that I've been known to write.
As I was thinking about what I was going to get a friend of mine for his impending birthday, I was faced with the age-old question: what do you get for someone who has EVERYTHING? That made me think about what exactly is meant by "having EVERYTHING". And who seems to have everything in our society? Celebrities.
We revere celebrities. We adore them for what they have; they appear to have everything they (we) could possibly want. They live lavish lifestyles and cavort with the world's most visible, influential (and sometimes notorious)people. Their wealth eclipses the average person's lifetime earnings exponentially. They appear to have EVERYTHING. As a result, it appears that they have a lot of things just handed to them on a silver platter; free clothes from designers that we shell out our hard-earned ducats for, swag bags from awards shows that would make the average person feel like its Christmas in April, the ability to incite complete worship and mayhem simply by stepping into a restaurant. But look deeper. Do they REALLY have EVERYTHING? Are their lives REALLY that much different from ours, because they don't have to deal with some of the obstacles that we do? In other words, if we cut them- do they not bleed? My initial thought is that they do, indeed.
Shaq, who is 7 foot 1 (check), wears a size 17 shoe, has millions in the bank and scores of adoring fans- has a little dick (I don't know that personally- I'm taking Karrine "superhead" Steffans' word for it!)
Pamela Anderson- she who has the starring role in many a heterosexual male's masturbatory marathons (and perhaps in a couple of homo's dreams as well!)- has a very serious, if not lethal, form of hepatitis
Stevie Wonder- creator of some of history's most creatively musical songs- will never be able to see the beauty of purple in his lifetime.
Magic Johnson.
I'm sure even the "chairman of the board", Oprah Winfrey- who has more money than GOD and is probably the only person on the face of the earth that could singlehandedly solve the Cuban missile crisis, bring peace to the middle east, find a cure for the common cold, and get to the bottom of who exactly killed Tupac,Biggie, JFK and Jimmy Hoffa (all while encouraging you to live your best life)-has some perceived void in her all-expansive life. Who knows.
Some of my most beautiful, stunning, striking and genetically gifted friends have also been saddled with the most extreme cases of low self-esteem and self-loathing (whether they acknowledge it or not is another story).
It seems that many times we concentrate on what we DON'T have instead of what has been made available to us. We measure our success against those who appear to have much more than we do. Life, for some of us, is a scorecard of obtaining things that we lack (materially, spiritually, etc.) in a desperate attempt to have it "all". So...who REALLY has it all? I guess it depends on what you define as ALL? Is good health, loving family and friends having it all if you live in the projects- or in Iraq? Or is having millions in the bank but having to endure the disdain of all those around you something you can live with? Is there a middle ground?
I don't think I have the answer to the question for everyone. I was thinking the other day that if I had everything I could possibly ever want materially and have the unquestionable devotion of the love of my life as well as the guarantee that I would enjoy the health of an 18-year old for the next 80 years- would I STILL not feel complete?
I think the answer lies not in having it all, but in achieving HAPPINESS. Happiness, regardless of what your bank account, prognosis, or mother-in-law says, is the feeling that none of these things can limit or affect your peace of mind. PASSION drives us as human beings as well. Everyone will tell you that if you find something that you are passionate about in life (and would do it even if you weren't getting paid), that you are on the path to HAPPINESS. They would also go on to say that helping others has an indescribable happiness all its own. I would also add that STRUGGLE is another aspect of having it all- because if you never had to work for anything, how would you develop a true PASSION for achieving it? How would you appreciate it? Its only through surpassing OBSTACLES that we truly know our strengths. Into everyone's life a little shade must fall. It lets you know you're alive, human, mortal. Obstacles define your character, the lack of which prevents your character from fully forming. Imagine having every one of your wants fulfilled. How would you move forward, knowing that no matter what you did you would be satiated? What kind of person would you be? It has been said that “What defines us…is how well we rise after falling”. But what if you didn't have to struggle for anything? Trust fund babies and members of royal families must face this question sooner or later.
So, instead of asking ourselves what do we have to do to have it ALL, maybe the question should be: what will it take to experience true HAPPINESS?
I met a BEAUTIFUL woman named Shelly at a barbeque this past holiday weekend. We started talking about, of all things, what is "having everything", and what that means. Its funny how these things happen. Shelly said something that I think sums it up: "you know, having it all is actually just waking up every morning- THAT'S happiness."
Thank you Shelly...
As I was thinking about what I was going to get a friend of mine for his impending birthday, I was faced with the age-old question: what do you get for someone who has EVERYTHING? That made me think about what exactly is meant by "having EVERYTHING". And who seems to have everything in our society? Celebrities.
We revere celebrities. We adore them for what they have; they appear to have everything they (we) could possibly want. They live lavish lifestyles and cavort with the world's most visible, influential (and sometimes notorious)people. Their wealth eclipses the average person's lifetime earnings exponentially. They appear to have EVERYTHING. As a result, it appears that they have a lot of things just handed to them on a silver platter; free clothes from designers that we shell out our hard-earned ducats for, swag bags from awards shows that would make the average person feel like its Christmas in April, the ability to incite complete worship and mayhem simply by stepping into a restaurant. But look deeper. Do they REALLY have EVERYTHING? Are their lives REALLY that much different from ours, because they don't have to deal with some of the obstacles that we do? In other words, if we cut them- do they not bleed? My initial thought is that they do, indeed.
Shaq, who is 7 foot 1 (check), wears a size 17 shoe, has millions in the bank and scores of adoring fans- has a little dick (I don't know that personally- I'm taking Karrine "superhead" Steffans' word for it!)
Pamela Anderson- she who has the starring role in many a heterosexual male's masturbatory marathons (and perhaps in a couple of homo's dreams as well!)- has a very serious, if not lethal, form of hepatitisStevie Wonder- creator of some of history's most creatively musical songs- will never be able to see the beauty of purple in his lifetime.
Magic Johnson.
I'm sure even the "chairman of the board", Oprah Winfrey- who has more money than GOD and is probably the only person on the face of the earth that could singlehandedly solve the Cuban missile crisis, bring peace to the middle east, find a cure for the common cold, and get to the bottom of who exactly killed Tupac,Biggie, JFK and Jimmy Hoffa (all while encouraging you to live your best life)-has some perceived void in her all-expansive life. Who knows.
Some of my most beautiful, stunning, striking and genetically gifted friends have also been saddled with the most extreme cases of low self-esteem and self-loathing (whether they acknowledge it or not is another story).
It seems that many times we concentrate on what we DON'T have instead of what has been made available to us. We measure our success against those who appear to have much more than we do. Life, for some of us, is a scorecard of obtaining things that we lack (materially, spiritually, etc.) in a desperate attempt to have it "all". So...who REALLY has it all? I guess it depends on what you define as ALL? Is good health, loving family and friends having it all if you live in the projects- or in Iraq? Or is having millions in the bank but having to endure the disdain of all those around you something you can live with? Is there a middle ground?
I don't think I have the answer to the question for everyone. I was thinking the other day that if I had everything I could possibly ever want materially and have the unquestionable devotion of the love of my life as well as the guarantee that I would enjoy the health of an 18-year old for the next 80 years- would I STILL not feel complete?
I think the answer lies not in having it all, but in achieving HAPPINESS. Happiness, regardless of what your bank account, prognosis, or mother-in-law says, is the feeling that none of these things can limit or affect your peace of mind. PASSION drives us as human beings as well. Everyone will tell you that if you find something that you are passionate about in life (and would do it even if you weren't getting paid), that you are on the path to HAPPINESS. They would also go on to say that helping others has an indescribable happiness all its own. I would also add that STRUGGLE is another aspect of having it all- because if you never had to work for anything, how would you develop a true PASSION for achieving it? How would you appreciate it? Its only through surpassing OBSTACLES that we truly know our strengths. Into everyone's life a little shade must fall. It lets you know you're alive, human, mortal. Obstacles define your character, the lack of which prevents your character from fully forming. Imagine having every one of your wants fulfilled. How would you move forward, knowing that no matter what you did you would be satiated? What kind of person would you be? It has been said that “What defines us…is how well we rise after falling”. But what if you didn't have to struggle for anything? Trust fund babies and members of royal families must face this question sooner or later.
So, instead of asking ourselves what do we have to do to have it ALL, maybe the question should be: what will it take to experience true HAPPINESS?
I met a BEAUTIFUL woman named Shelly at a barbeque this past holiday weekend. We started talking about, of all things, what is "having everything", and what that means. Its funny how these things happen. Shelly said something that I think sums it up: "you know, having it all is actually just waking up every morning- THAT'S happiness."
Thank you Shelly...
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
I hold these truths to be self-evident...
Oprah ends each edition of her 'O Magazine' with the last-page article entitled "What I know for Sure". Reading the last issue, it made me think about what I know for sure (or what I THINK I know for sure).
So Far, I have learned that:
1- I believe in LOVE. I just haven’t really experienced it yet.
2- Power and Beauty are the constructs around which everything is based.
3- Bullshit, no matter how pretty it’s packaged, no matter how many polysyllabic words surround it, no matter how many people tout it as dogma, no matter how it has withstood the test of time, is still- at its core- BULLSHIT!
4- Sooner or later, everyone-EVERYONE- will disappoint you at some point and on some level. And there will come a time when you will also disappoint yourself
5- YOU have the power to dictate the way you are going to be treated.
6- If you surround yourself with people unlike yourself who have their own talents, aspirations, and vision, YOU grow more.
7- Skin color will ALWAYS matter- even to those who lecture that it shouldn’t.
8- Even those that should know better, don’t always know better.
9- Ms. Mitchell was right; you don’t know what u got ‘til its gone.
10-The MOST important lessons you can teach a child are that they are BEAUTIFUL and that they MATTER!!!
11-People show you EXACTLY WHO THEY ARE within the first 5 minutes of you meeting them.
12-There are always THREE sides to any story.
What do YOU know for sure?
Monday, May 15, 2006
Questions for the Zeitgeist- May 15, 2006
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1- Aren't Seal and Heidi Klum becoming serious contenders for the title of "hippest hottest jetset couple"? Watch out, Brangelina...2- With the New York Radio station HOT 97 shootings (some say "SHOT 97", thanks to Lil Kim, 50 and The Game, Gravy, etc.), and T.I.'s personal assistant being killed in Cincinnati- was the Biggie/Tupac beef just the template for what's to come?
3- A 14-pound "preemie" stuns doctors in Cali. Junior high school boys are sporting full-on beards and goatees. 11 year-old girls are menstruating; Darwinian selection, or way too much Polysorbate 80 in our snacks and recombinant bovine somatotropin in our "pasteurized, homogenized, Vitamin D" milk?
4- How FLY and creative is gender-bending Electroclash group Dirty Sanchez?
5- Is Mackenzie Phillips STILL sober? And for that matter, is Scott Weiland? What about Stockard Channing? Is D'Angelo over the hump yet?
6- She burst on the scene in '96 with the theme to Dawson's Creek ("I Don't Wanna Wait"), and "Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?". The REAL question is, where has Paula Cole gone?
7- With the fading celebrity of Paris Hilton (barring, of course, another porn tape or publicity stunt!), aren't we glad that Margherita Missoni, heir-apparent to the Missoni fashion/textile empire, is returning the "it girl" status quo to someone with SUBSTANCE? And while we're on the "it girls with substance" tip, is swank party fixture/glamourpuss Genevieve Jones (in addition to being The Real Re-edit's current obsession), the new Nicole Richie?
Saturday, May 13, 2006
The NEXT "America's Next Top Model"- U wanna be on TOP?!!!
Ok, so I made a prediction last season (here), and I was...pretty close. Now again comes the time when I feel I have to offer my two cents on the guilty pleasure known as "Top Model". Who did what, who turned it out, who burned out, who was unnecesarily unceremoniously canned, who should have been canned but wasn't, and WHO SHOULD WIN.
Let's start with the season't most creative shoot: the very first one, where the girls had to pose...BALD!!!!! In Western culture, it takes an exceptionally beautiful woman to make bald look feminine, exotic, and resplendent. A few of the contestants stepped up to the challenge early: Nnenna
served up African queen and showed that she could rock a baldy quite comfortably (so comfortably that they made her almost bald for her makeover after this shoot), Mollie Sue
brought soft yet simmering feminine energy while remaining decidedly beautiful.
Danielle brought fierce piercing eyes which were set off by her long gazelle-like neck and regal cheekbones.
Speaking of bones- to no one's surprise- Gina's cheekbones sealed the deal.
Jade attempted,
but didn't quite come off as soft and pink as she needed to (which would dog her for the first couple of shoots).
One chick- Kathy- looked deranged and became the posterchild for why most women CAN'T be bald and beautiful; and was rightfully sent home after the first challenge.
The season's most cruel joke: the models trying to ramp in those impossibly high, "Ana Molinari-meets-Vivian-Westwood" pumps. I don't know WHO thought this challenge up- maybe some sadomasochisic drag queen who witnessed Naomi Campbell topple over at that infamous Vivienne Westwood show when she couldn't maintain that signature walk in those 12-inch indigo mock croc lace-up platform boots
Thirteen women (most of whom looked like they had never walked in REGULAR 3 inch stillettos) are forced to walk a runway in what looked like SIX inch stiletto PLATFORMS!!! The first thing their legal department should have warned them against was EXACTLY what happened to Danielle; JACKED-UP model ankles!!! If Danielle really wanted to be evil, she could have sued the producers and possibly had the show renamed "Danielle presents...America's Next Top Model". I mean, I'm sure even Naomi has nightmares about those damn clogs!! 
Unceremoniously canned? Dr. Yvonne, the emergency room doctor whose walk rivals some of the best-trained models on ANY runway, didn't even make it into the house. True, she photographed a little old, but it would have been good to have her in the house to teach those awkward vaginas how to serve the runway- but I digress.
The "What the hell were they looking at" contestant: Kari.
Miss Piggy on diet pills? Yes. Brigitte Bardot? HELL no!. Kari had ONE good pic (very Pam Anderson locked in a deep-freezer!)
The little train that SHOULD have, but didn't--tie: Furonda and Gina. Furonda had the name and everything (Supermodel Katoucha! Supermodel Verushka! Supermodel Furonda!!!). At a lanky yet somewhat curvy 5'11, she had the perfect model body, replete with fit-model legs. Some of her pics were BEAUTIFUL!
Gina: the only girl who had the bone structure to compete with Jade (sans dragon-queen effect!)
but who was as CLUELESS as a bag of question marks!!!
Biggest disappointment- tie: Nenna's fading out and Sarah's not giving it like a 6-foot Glamazon should!
Nnenna started out the strongest, winning the first 2 or three challenges. She was the frontrunner to watch. The title was hers to lose- and she did. When she faded into the background with that horrible babydoll shoot
followed by that DRY mermaid picture, I knew her days were numbered. That photo shoot with the male model where she posed as a HOT chemist should have sealed the deal.
I was soooo disappointed!
Sarah's open-mouthed vacant face in a lot of her pictures betrayed her height, which was her only advantage in this season's contenders.
Most annoying: Of course, to no one's surprise- Jade.
Whether it was her incessantly referring to herself in the third person ("Jade is a star", "Jade can work it", "this is Jade", "Jade is a supermodel", "Jade has potential- do yo see it? Do you see it?"...blah blah blah, ZIP IT!) or the somewhat suspicious and completely bitchy mindfuck she administered to Gina early in the competition, one gets the feeling that she would be much more attractive, mysterious, and accomplished if we never heard her speak at all. In all fairness, even though her attitude stinks worse than the morbid odor that probably permeated Phuket Island the day after the Tsunami, she HAS continually ramped up and turned out softer, more beautiful, "more model and less drag queen" pics. She's been called "arrogant", "defensive" and "fake" (to her face!) and takes it on the shoulder everyweek. Yet and still she made it to the final three, and we can't take that away from her. On top of all of that- she's A MODEL!!! Take these (2) pics as evidence...
But it wasn't until the church fashion show, when Jade came "up in through" with the "swirl", that I started to believe she could actually be a contender. She really put air under that cape and twirled, twirled, twirled like she was in a Dior show. Not bad...
This season's sleeper was indeed Joanie, whose portfolio was strong and whose walk was indeed a breath of fresh air. I predict she will be among the top two standing, up-ended only by one chick...
This season's winner, in my estimation will be
Danielle. Her "Snow White" SEALED it for me...she even looked resplendent bald- how many women can say that? Southern accent be damned, she has been consistently among the top choices every week, has consistently turned out VIVID, BEAUTIFUL pictures and has shown the most drive to succeed. Summoning nothing more than courage, determination and mettle, she has survived a sprained toe (thanks to those ridiculous platform heels), two visits to the dentist to correct that "not-quite-Lauren-Hutton" gap-toothed smile, and food poisoning in a third world country. All while looking STUNNING!!! I mean, what more can you ask for in a model?
Unlike in seasons past, the majority of these girls could actually have somewhat successful careers as models. I mean, come on- LOVE Eva Pigford; she serves face, ramps on the runway and all that, but NO agency would have picked her up due to her height. Adrian, season 1 winner, was too trashy. Season 2 winner Yoanna had BEAUTIFUL porcelain skin and bone structure that most women would hate her for, but her body was unfortunate. In my estimation, at least 7 of the chosen 13 could be working in New York right now (and probably are). These girls were the first group since the show's inception who seemed to up the beauty quotient from previous years by at least 1000%
If I hadn't brought any of the other contestants' names up, its because they didn't register on my radar- oh well...
but I digress...
Let's start with the season't most creative shoot: the very first one, where the girls had to pose...BALD!!!!! In Western culture, it takes an exceptionally beautiful woman to make bald look feminine, exotic, and resplendent. A few of the contestants stepped up to the challenge early: Nnenna
served up African queen and showed that she could rock a baldy quite comfortably (so comfortably that they made her almost bald for her makeover after this shoot), Mollie Sue
brought soft yet simmering feminine energy while remaining decidedly beautiful.
Danielle brought fierce piercing eyes which were set off by her long gazelle-like neck and regal cheekbones.
Speaking of bones- to no one's surprise- Gina's cheekbones sealed the deal.
Jade attempted,
but didn't quite come off as soft and pink as she needed to (which would dog her for the first couple of shoots).One chick- Kathy- looked deranged and became the posterchild for why most women CAN'T be bald and beautiful; and was rightfully sent home after the first challenge.
The season's most cruel joke: the models trying to ramp in those impossibly high, "Ana Molinari-meets-Vivian-Westwood" pumps. I don't know WHO thought this challenge up- maybe some sadomasochisic drag queen who witnessed Naomi Campbell topple over at that infamous Vivienne Westwood show when she couldn't maintain that signature walk in those 12-inch indigo mock croc lace-up platform boots
Thirteen women (most of whom looked like they had never walked in REGULAR 3 inch stillettos) are forced to walk a runway in what looked like SIX inch stiletto PLATFORMS!!! The first thing their legal department should have warned them against was EXACTLY what happened to Danielle; JACKED-UP model ankles!!! If Danielle really wanted to be evil, she could have sued the producers and possibly had the show renamed "Danielle presents...America's Next Top Model". I mean, I'm sure even Naomi has nightmares about those damn clogs!! 
Unceremoniously canned? Dr. Yvonne, the emergency room doctor whose walk rivals some of the best-trained models on ANY runway, didn't even make it into the house. True, she photographed a little old, but it would have been good to have her in the house to teach those awkward vaginas how to serve the runway- but I digress.
The "What the hell were they looking at" contestant: Kari.
Miss Piggy on diet pills? Yes. Brigitte Bardot? HELL no!. Kari had ONE good pic (very Pam Anderson locked in a deep-freezer!)
The little train that SHOULD have, but didn't--tie: Furonda and Gina. Furonda had the name and everything (Supermodel Katoucha! Supermodel Verushka! Supermodel Furonda!!!). At a lanky yet somewhat curvy 5'11, she had the perfect model body, replete with fit-model legs. Some of her pics were BEAUTIFUL!
Gina: the only girl who had the bone structure to compete with Jade (sans dragon-queen effect!)
but who was as CLUELESS as a bag of question marks!!!Biggest disappointment- tie: Nenna's fading out and Sarah's not giving it like a 6-foot Glamazon should!
Nnenna started out the strongest, winning the first 2 or three challenges. She was the frontrunner to watch. The title was hers to lose- and she did. When she faded into the background with that horrible babydoll shoot
followed by that DRY mermaid picture, I knew her days were numbered. That photo shoot with the male model where she posed as a HOT chemist should have sealed the deal.
I was soooo disappointed!
Sarah's open-mouthed vacant face in a lot of her pictures betrayed her height, which was her only advantage in this season's contenders.
Most annoying: Of course, to no one's surprise- Jade.
Whether it was her incessantly referring to herself in the third person ("Jade is a star", "Jade can work it", "this is Jade", "Jade is a supermodel", "Jade has potential- do yo see it? Do you see it?"...blah blah blah, ZIP IT!) or the somewhat suspicious and completely bitchy mindfuck she administered to Gina early in the competition, one gets the feeling that she would be much more attractive, mysterious, and accomplished if we never heard her speak at all. In all fairness, even though her attitude stinks worse than the morbid odor that probably permeated Phuket Island the day after the Tsunami, she HAS continually ramped up and turned out softer, more beautiful, "more model and less drag queen" pics. She's been called "arrogant", "defensive" and "fake" (to her face!) and takes it on the shoulder everyweek. Yet and still she made it to the final three, and we can't take that away from her. On top of all of that- she's A MODEL!!! Take these (2) pics as evidence...
But it wasn't until the church fashion show, when Jade came "up in through" with the "swirl", that I started to believe she could actually be a contender. She really put air under that cape and twirled, twirled, twirled like she was in a Dior show. Not bad...
This season's sleeper was indeed Joanie, whose portfolio was strong and whose walk was indeed a breath of fresh air. I predict she will be among the top two standing, up-ended only by one chick...
This season's winner, in my estimation will be
Danielle. Her "Snow White" SEALED it for me...she even looked resplendent bald- how many women can say that? Southern accent be damned, she has been consistently among the top choices every week, has consistently turned out VIVID, BEAUTIFUL pictures and has shown the most drive to succeed. Summoning nothing more than courage, determination and mettle, she has survived a sprained toe (thanks to those ridiculous platform heels), two visits to the dentist to correct that "not-quite-Lauren-Hutton" gap-toothed smile, and food poisoning in a third world country. All while looking STUNNING!!! I mean, what more can you ask for in a model?Unlike in seasons past, the majority of these girls could actually have somewhat successful careers as models. I mean, come on- LOVE Eva Pigford; she serves face, ramps on the runway and all that, but NO agency would have picked her up due to her height. Adrian, season 1 winner, was too trashy. Season 2 winner Yoanna had BEAUTIFUL porcelain skin and bone structure that most women would hate her for, but her body was unfortunate. In my estimation, at least 7 of the chosen 13 could be working in New York right now (and probably are). These girls were the first group since the show's inception who seemed to up the beauty quotient from previous years by at least 1000%
If I hadn't brought any of the other contestants' names up, its because they didn't register on my radar- oh well...
but I digress...
Friday, May 12, 2006
My father's name is Miguel...don't SON me to death!!!
My mother's name: Janice. My father's name: Miguel. Unfortunately, they have both taken the outstretched hand of God and joined him in heaven. In my estimation, those are the only two individuals who have to right to address me as "son"; NOT my boys who I hit the club with, NOT the brother working at ATRIUM greeting me as I walk through the door, NOT the dude asking me for the time as I'm waiting for the 2 train. And certainly not my good-good-girlfriend (whom I will not name, but she knows who she is!). Where the hell did this come from anyway? When did "bruh", "playa", "kid", "bro", "playboy", and the like morph into "son"?
I had the same stance two or so years ago, when everybody was going around calling each other "pa" ( i.e., "sup pa?"). Don't call me "pa"; I have no kids- to date, that I know of. (Pero, si hablamos espanol, puedes llamarme "papi" o "papo"- claro?).
This expression has become so ubiquitous amongst the brown and sexy that I don't think it even sounds strange to people anymore. And... its not confined to males! True story: I'm riding the A train back to Brooklyn late one night (as I've been known to do). Two o'clock in the morning on a Thursday. The train pulls into the West 4th Street station and the throng get on. Three young women, who couldn't have been more than 16 if they were 20, sat immediately across from me. What stunned me most was not that they were teenagers OUT SO LATE ON A SCHOOLNIGHT, nor that two of the three could easily have auditioned for "America's Next Top Model" and gave Ms. Jade a run for her money. What really furrowed my brow was the conversation-"...yo, dat nigga was mad cute, SON!"..."...soon as I get home, I'm hittin the bed, SON!"..." "...I'm not feelin like goin to class tomorrow, SON!". Since when is it okay for FEMALES to call each other 'SON'? WTF??!! That's supposed to be sexy?
Now I might be overreacting; "son" could just be another term of endearment that defies gender-specific categorization; sort of like "partna", "ace", or "running buddy". But I don't think so. Those colloquialisms denote an equality with those being referred to. When you address someone as "son", it denotes progeny, someone who would not be here if it hadn't been for you or your hormones. It automatically places the addressed in a subordinate position and the addressor in a position of reverence, respect and in most cases authority. Maybe its just me, and maybe I'm having a bad day, but unless your seed is responsible for my existence, unless you put me through college with your hard-earned money, unless you guided me into becoming the man that I am today, you don't have the RIGHT to refer to me as "SON".
but I digress, son...LOL
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