Fashion
1- Of all things that made its way onto the fashion landscape recently, there is ONE trend that THE REAL RE-Edit simply can't abide any longer- "Straight" boys, with pants hanging off their asses, steadily yelling "no homo"
Whether on 125th Street or in the middle of the Castro, if your "drawz" are showing, some same-gender-loving male is going to look! So, either pull up your pants or accept that there may be a time when some gayboy is going to look at you with (perhaps) unrequieted lust...
(Tyson Beckford, Lil Wayne and Chris Brown images used for illustration purposes ONLY- no homo!!!)
2- Ostentatious displays of wealth...
Hello??!! We're in a RECESSION!!
We can't hate on Victoria Beckham's $122,000 diamond-encrusted Hermes Himalayan Crocodile Birkin bag that she recently added to her rumored $1.4 million Birkin collection (because, let's face it, the "Posh Spice" persona was CREATED to push this very envelope!). We also bow down to Pharrell Williams' purple crocodile Hermes Haut Au Corrois Birkin (because, well, he's fly-ass Pharrell, damnit!). However, it has become a VERY tacky thing, in the midst of this worldwide financial meltdown, to effectively flaunt your wealth in the faces of those who may have just lost their job or the majority of their 401(k). Not to mention, it puts a target on your back for robbery- just ask Queen Latifah, or Harry Winston in Paris...
Technology
3- The Mototola Razer (thanks, Keith W.!) and 3G Iphones...
Razer phones were soooo last year three years ago, but 3g iPhones are headed the way of the Razer thanks to the Palm Pre, the "newnownext" smartphone...
4- But don't get too comfortable, because later this year, both the iPhone AND the Palm Pre will be de mode, as LG will have released their first "watchphone" ...
5- Putting your whole life on YouTube...
Memories used to be ingrained in our heads, blurred by the passage of time and revisionist history. Now, your every waking moment can be posted on the most popular video server in the world with a few clicks of your mouse. But just because you CAN share every special moment with the world, SHOULD you?
6- Anti-social behavioral patterns exacerbated by excessive use of myspace, facebook, AOL., etc...In a time when text messaging and instant messages can be mistaken for actual social interaction, some of us have gotten lazy- even preferring to text than to talk. And while the texting "shortcut" seems to be in the interest of saving time (because who has enough time these days?), it also denigrates the human experience on some level by denying the vocal communication that we as humans have employed since the beginning of time. As a result, some of us have become socially awkward, unable to carry on an ACTUAL conversation at an ACTUAL social event. So the next time you decide to text, email, or instant message rather than take the time to call or (gasp!) write on stationary, you are serriptitiously depriving yourself of the splendor of a "real time" experience for both you and the intended receiver. Conversely, by making the effort to actually meet your TRUE friends for brunch to catch up with each other in real time (as opposed to sending out a weekly mass email to your myspace/facebook "friends" with the minutiae of your life), you are in some way beating back the downfall of modern human society...think about it!
7- Pulling out your laptop in Starbucks (sooo last year for the last 3 years!)...Seriously, Wi-Fi is EVERYWHERE now, so if you're out and about and need internet access on your laptop there's no reason to buy a $6 cup of coffee in order to get it. 'Sex and the City' mania is over (Carrie didn't even lug her Mac along to write at the coffeeshop in the movie!), and no one believes that you are writing the next New York Times bestseller, anyway...
8- Big, clunky PCs with tons of wires...
For a "no strings attached" relationship with your computer, try the HP TouchSmart IQ506 Desktop PC. If you are a fan of minimalism, extend that design aesthetic to your home office. What you see is all there is- no PC tower to store, no wires to try to hide behind your desk- just plug in the one power cord and you're ready! Wireless mouse, keyboard and remote pack away in your desk when you want to use your integrated 22 inch high-definition widescreen monitor to watch your favorite shows ( It retails for $2,499.99, but THE REAL RE-Edit found a refurbished model on Buy.com for $987.00!!!)...
Music
9- We LOVE Chrisette Michelle's voice and Jill Scott's musicality, but with Jazmine Sullivan and Jennifer Hudson releasing successful projects last year (and each bringing Grammy nominations into 2009), it looks like the "hefty girl with the voice to match" baton may have been passed...
10- Female rappers
We had releases from Eve (who's 'Tambourine' in 2007 whet our appetites for a full-on musical assault from the self-described "female pit-bull in a skirt" which never materialized), and a post-incarceration Foxy Brown (who REIGNED as the top female emcee for a while before she had to contend with shelved albums, nail-salon drama, and hearing loss). We were waiting on a project from Remy Ma- before she was sentenced in March of last year to at least 8 years for shooting an associate over $3,000). Not to mention Da Brat, who is probably spitting a "hot 16" in her cell, as 2008 has her serving at least three years prison time for assaulting (and disfiguring) a waitress with a rum bottle at an Atlanta nightclub. Lil Kim went completely Hollywood, defecting to the land of The Pussycat Dolls and Girlicious instead of putting out a CD. Even after going Hollywood, Queen Latifah put out a beautiful CD under her Dana Owens moniker- but it was definitely more "lite-music Jazzy" than "hip-hop snazzy". One of THE REAL RE-Edit's faves, Rah Digga, is apparently so underground that NO one can hear her; same for Jean Grae and Sonya Blade. Jackie O and Charli Baltimore continue to be persona non grata at the moment as well. Even MC Lyte, who was scheduled to put out a new project with her new group, Almost September, never hit the airwaves. Lil Mama's lip gloss wasn't poppin' in 2008, and while it seemed Teyana Taylor was everywhere, her music...wasn't. Even Salt N Pepa, who had a reality show on Vh-1 last year, haven't materialized with any new material. This leads us to think that maybe this signals the end of the female MC as we know it.
The Meaning of Life (in BLACK and White)
11- White girls with a sense of entitlement...
Whether its silly, drunk white girls at the club who act like you are actually interested in bedding them, or silly white girls at electronic stores that interrupt YOUR shopping by asking you a question that they should be asking an ACTUAL store employee who is donning a blue polo shirt and a pair of khakis ("No, I DON'T work here, chick!"), take heed: I'm NOT interested in dating, raping, or serving you- that's not my flavor, my style, or my position in life, so take your "Mandingo" fantasies elsewhere.
12- Tangential to this would be that self-important white woman who doesn't offer a perfunctory "thank you" when you hold the door for her, or that white woman who, while still clutching her purse, seemingly pushes past you on the street without so much as an "excuse me". Well, Becky, here are a couple of things to consider: firstly, I doubt there is anything in that flimsy, cheaply-made purse that I would desire- but if I DID want to snatch it, there is nothing (outside of you being a black belt in tai chi) that would prevent me from doing so. Secondly, Ralph Ellison was the last black man to cop to a sense of invisibility, so when you see me perform an act of chivalry, ACKNOWLEDGE my presence so that your racist inner monologue isn't sooooo obvious! (I digress...)
13- Black people with a sense of invincibility...
Whether its unsafe sex practices, using the N word, or getting into legal trouble, 2009 is the time for us blacks to step up our game. Despite great advancements in medicinal prophalactics and non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors (NNRTIs), protease inhibitors and the like, AIDS continues to decimate our communities- so going "raw dog" in 2009 with those whose sexual history you barely know and who's HIV- diagnosis you can't confirm is STILL stupid.
Moreover, once you hear a six-year-old using the 'N word' with the same vigor as your everyday thug, the stupidity of grown-ass people still using that word seems all the more asinine going into 2009. Let's expand your vocabulary, people. That word is not only killing the way we see ourselves, its killing the way the rest of the world sees us from a global perspective.
As for GROWN-ASS black men (and some women) getting into trouble legal trouble...
One only has to look at the recent arrests and court-ordered tribulations of Charles Barkley, Michael Vick, O.J. Simpson, DMX, Louisiana Rep. William Jefferson and T.I. as irrefutable proof that just because we have a black president, it doesn't mean that the black man is beyond the law. (Senator Larry Craig, Dick Cheney and Scooter Libby apparently are a different story altogether. Take from that what you will)...
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14- Getting all up-in-arms at seeing an interracial couple...
This is 2009; Don't gawk and stare at the sight a mixed couple- that's sooooo 2005! Don't question and judge the degree of one's blackness because he/she has a mate of a different race. We now have a mixed-race president, and soon whites will be the minority. The culture has finally shifted, and you're fear of something different betrays your ignorance. Let it GO...
And other things that are soooo 2008...
15- Wondering aloud about everyone's sexuality...
WE have the goddess Wendy Williams to thank for this one. Stop yelling out "How You Doin'?" in order to question whether someone performs anything other than heterosexual acts in the privacy of their own bedroom (or living room, kitchen sink, etc...). Figure out where YOU land on the Kinsey scale and leave it at that.
16- Being able to afford college...
Having a way to cover your tuition at an institution of higher learning seems to be passe as well. Tuition costs and other fees are soaring: up 439% since the early 1980s, and although more and more people are using student loans to cover the costs, student debt has ballooned from $41 billion ten years ago (in 2007 dollars) to $87 billion today- and the interest rates on these loans can be as high as 19 percent! Former U.S. Senator Claiborne Pell, who was largely responsible for the Pell grant program for U.S. college students, passed away on the first day of this year. His idea (and his fight to get the program passed by Congress) is single-handedly responsible for 54 million college careers. However, thanks to ever-increasing tuition and a dirth of grants/scholarships, the ability to pay for college seems to be an idea that has died right along with Senator Pell.
17- Doing hard drugs...
Last year, it was wholly agreed upon that Amy Winehouse, while being a certified platinum artist, is a certifiable MESS, CSI's Gary Dourdan was caught in a drug-induced stupor (right before he "left" the incredibly successful series), and hip hop superproducer Dr. Dre lost his son to a heroin and morphine overdose . Not to mention that Crystal Meth is still rotting the teeth and pimpling the skin of more than a few celebrities and plain folk alike. But, if Whitney- who looked STUNNING at the BET Honors after battling a FIERCE drug habit, multiple stays in rehab AND an enabling husband- can get it together, why can't Amy (who, incidentally is facing the SAME EXACT problems)?
18-Loud-talking on public transportation or just loud-talking in public, period...
The NYC subway is FULL of individuals that share their most personal business with whoever happens to be riding in their subway car, because their conversations- which as supposed to be between two people- are sooooo LOUD! Calm down, and act like you're at the library- no one wants to hear your conversation- unless, of course, you are the legendary tranny Miss Mimi Plastique...(Sometimes, things just need to be said...)
Pop Culture
19- Worrying about the Brangelina vs. Jennifer Aniston thing...
Instead of blabbing to a magazine, periodical, or other media outlet that what Angelina did was "very uncool", here's an idea- GET OVER IT ALREADY! It happened over four years ago, he's a father six times over, and (guess what?) she's not the one you should have a problem with! It was your HUSBAND- Mr. Pitt- that wronged you. So, forgive him (or not), find another mate and leave the "Gorgeous United Nations" family alone, because quite frankly THE REAL RE-Edit (and we suspect a good majority of the world) is sick of hearing about it...
20- Grey's Anatomy...
Shonda Rhimes' breakout television hit of a few years ago is in danger of jumping the shark. First the show was dealt what some thought was a mighty blow from the "Losing Isaiah" fiasco, then rising star Katherine Heigl complained to the media about the absence of depth from her Dr. Izzy character. Now comes word that T.R. Knight, the show's most likable character (and supposedly the impetus for Isaiah Washington's firing) is leaving the show. Looks like Kate Walsh (who defected to her own show last year, the addictive 'Private Practice') may be the only one standing soon. With unbelievable storylines and a borderline-annoying main character (the neurotic and somewhat boring Meredith Grey, played morosely by Ellen Pompeo), this show is in ICU, and headed for DNR (Do Not Resuscitate)...
The REAL Flashback...
Looks like in 2009 female rappers are sooooo last year. I know we were talking about things in 2008 that we DON'T want to see in 2009, but THE REAL RE-Edit would really like to see the return of Rah Digga, a.k.a 'Dirty Harriet', in the very near future! Remember back in 2000, when she told us to "Break Fool"?
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