I generally try to respect people's artistic expression, their "hustle", their vehicle to fame, their acquisition of whatever fame that seems to elude the vast majority of us, their uniqueness, their contribution(s) to the world in general and pop culture in particular. It takes a LOT to get me to completely HATE something, because these days I try to find redeeming value or a lesson in everything.
I tried, yall. I TRIED to understand the cultural phenomenon known as "Flavor of Love". I tried to not cringe and turn the channel 5 seconds into each episode. I just couldn't do it.
Then...I PRAYED. I prayed for Flavor Flav to wake up and really look at how he was coming across to his children, his community, America and (because we now live in a global society) THE WORLD. I prayed for each of those low-self esteem-having "broads" that decided that it was their destiny to vie for Flavor's affections to see that they didn't have to literally prostitute themselves for five seconds of (questionable) fame. I prayed that the master tapes for all of the remaining episodes of "Flavor of Love" would mysteriously disappear from the VH-1 media vault and would never be seen again. Then I prayed for all people of color (and black people in particular), because WE would have to be the ones to endure this "Amos-n-Andy-meets-Birth-of-a-Nation" in 2007 and to some extent explain to ourselves why this buffoonery STILL exists in our community. We would also have to be the ones to stand idly by while the white power establishment that is the media in this country continued to once again be entertained by our subjugation- AT OUR EXPENSE.
I guess I should have also prayed that this show wouldn't begat a spin-off.
Lo and behold, here comes Tiffany Pollard, a.k.a the ridiculous tumble of pouty lips, ragged weave and shrill voice that would come to be known as the contestant Flavor re-named "New York"- and one of the reasons why black women STILL can't catch a break in the boardroom or walking down 125th Street. Its called "I Love New York"-and I think the New York State board of tourism should sue VH-1 for copyright infringement and willful destruction of its most popular tagline ever.
Then I think Tiffany Pollard should have her ass kicked.
I HATE this show. I HATE the IDEA of this show. I HATE that this show was ever pitched in 2007 and that it was ever greenlighted. I HATE this show such that after this post, there will be no further mention of this show in The REAL RE-Edit- EVER!!!
Why do I HATE "I Love New York"? I'm glad you asked. Drumroll please...
1- A black woman in 2007 shouldn't wear colored contacts and an "un-be-WEAVEable" mane unless she's either a stripper or Lil Kim- and let's hope that Kim has turned the corner on THAT one.
2- I'm not entirely clear of her motive; Is she looking for LOVE, or the perverse celebrity that this "search" has cultivated?
3- She allowed herself to be summarily rejected by the likes of Flavor Flav- TWICE!!!!!! As the saying goes, "One time, shame on you; two times, shame on ME." SHAME, Tiffany, SHAME...
4- She behaves like she could play the lead role should John Waters decide to do a remake of "Female Trouble". She's part drag queen, part welfare queen and all around HOT ASS MESS".
5- She's managed to not just reinforce but REDEFINE the stereotype of the atypically ignorant attitudinal black bitch.
6- Her MOTHER. SHE should know better. Moreover, she's exactly who Tiffany will become 20 years from now.
7- I have a sneaking suspicion that this woman isn't half as ignorant or nearly the extreme caricature that she puts on, which makes her appear all the MORE stupid to me. And if she is, then I feel sorry for her.
8- She has managed (in her appearances on both seasons of the crappy show that begat her "career" and in the first episode of her own crappy show) to take black womanhood two steps further back than Flavor Flav could ever have managed to take black "coon-hood". And you wonder where Michael Richard's "racist rant" came from? And you want to give Bill Cosby grief for the things he says?
9- She sounds like she WAKES UP screaming at the top of her lungs.
10- After this show ends (God willing), she could discover the cure for the common cold and every type of cancer- and she'll STILL be the chickenhead that had a bubble of phlegm hurled at her by another chickenhead with the WORLD as an audience. Additionally ( and again, perhaps more importantly) she will also be the one that got rejected TWICE...BY FLAVOR FLAV!!! Simply put, she could win the Nobel Peace Prize in physics, chemistry, physiology or medicine, AND literature- but she will always be remembered for being spit on by "Pumpkin" and shit on by Flav...
NOT A GOOD LOOK...AT ALL!!
I'm sure they'll be those that will love this kind of cow-towing. That will be THEIR cross to bare. As a black man and as a citizen of the WORLD, I'm EMBARASSED...
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