New Year's Resolutions...and The Rear View Mirror of Life

I wrote this last year (2005) as a mantra for myself moving into 2006. Since we're talking about New Year's Resolutions, I thought I would re-post it for those of you who might not have seen it at www.thepseudoartisticpunk.blogspot.com. Funny, I'm STILL using this "resolution", and it has withstood the test of time for me. I hope it does the same for you.












"You can't go forward looking in the rear-view mirror of your life"- Tammy Faye Baker (From the Logo Channel TV special "The Eyes of Tammy Faye")

You know, I'm generally not one for hanging on the every word of Tammy Faye Baker- but when somebody says something that's sooooo right and sooooo true and soooo succinct, you HAVE to give credit where credit is due damnit! When she was asked about how she is going to "recover" from the stain of the Jim Baker/PTL Scandal, La Baker basically said that sometimes you have to concentrate on moving forward and doing what you need to do and leave the past exactly where it is. Otherwise, you're not living life, you're RE-LIVING the past over and over again. HOW PROPHETIC, POETIC, and TRUE!!!

Hearing that made me mull and reflect on the times in my life when I SHOULD have just LET GO- of insignificant things, of hurtful situations, of damaging people- and just moved ON. Many times we are so intent on looking BACK at situations where things went awry and beating ourselves up about how we could have fixed them or done better- so busy checking and reanalyzing the 'rear-view' of the past- that we don't allow ourselves to see what COULD be coming up in the front windshield of possibility. We allow the MACK TRUCK that is life roll down the road on 'cruise control', hoping that it will eventually transport us magically to happiness. We fall asleep at the wheel, and then any number of things can happen. We could miss the exit or the offramp to very lucrative opportunities that maybe we could have taken. We might speed past very important spiritually-uplifting people that God is trying to bring into our lives. I can recall being soooo caught up in the "failure" of a relationship (that had LONG since been over) that I couldn't fully take advantage of a new and profitable employment opportunity. I also could not fully emotionally avail myself to key people in my life at important times when THEY needed ME-which made me the worst kind of friend to have. Had I not been so stifled by the fact that something that I thought I wanted so bad didn't turn out the way that I WANTED it to- had I left that situation in the rear-view mirror- I could have been more of a TRUE source of comfort and wisdom to those that really mattered to me. This kind of regret is completely preventable- by using the 'rear-view mirror' philosophy.

I'm not saying to go through life with a hardened heart and the cynicism of, say, a Michael Musto (who really is kind of BRILLIANT) and not allow your emotions to guide you through SOME situations. Emotions are REAL and should NEVER (well, hardly ever) be disguised or dismissed for fear of reprisal, exposure or pain. However, there comes a time when you have to put emotions to the side and say "you know what? It is what it is, and now what its going to be is DONE"- and TRULY accept that. Pining for the return of a lover is NOT going to make him/her come back through sheer pining; and if they don't come back of their own volition you shouldn't want their crusty ass anyway. Moreover, you should be grateful that they are quickly becoming rear-view mirror images (which can APPEAR closer than what they really are) so that you can turn around and look into that HUGE windshield in front of you and proclaim that YOU are the navigator of your life/car. This doesn't just apply to scorned lovers, but for any situation where you have no choice but to accept the fact that 'hey, shit didn't turn out the way I wanted it to". It took me 2 LOOONG years to fully integrate this philosophy into my life, and now that it is such a genuine part of my being I wondered how I could have gotten to 37 years old without having learned it (through the grace of God, that's how- but that's another story!).

I have decided to LET GO of the pain, deception, hurt and fear that has come my way. I have also resolved that all of the disappointments, limitations, and injustices of the past are just that- THE PAST. It is time to experience (as Joan Didion so intelligently entitled her memoir) "The Year Of Magical Thinking". So here I am repeating what is fast becoming an important mantra in my life---I AM NO LONGER LOOKING INTO THE REAR-VIEW MIRROR OF LIFE; I AM PEERING OUT OF THE FRONT 'WINDSHIELD OF POSSIBILITY'.

Join me in repeating that, if you feel like it. For now, I digress...