-(My jaded commentary on recent major pop-culture headlines- for those who have been under a rock for the last 3 months (like me!). From the inane to the political to the preposterous. Cmon y’all…STOP PLAYIN!!!)
Summer ‘07: Paris, prophylactics, and praying for forgiveness…
I’m glad that this blog gives me the forum to repeat one of my ‘catch phrases’. I use it every time I see injustice, double standards, or just plain foolishness. At the end of the day, I couldn’t care less about Paris’ long-overdue jail experience or if Lindsay Lohan EVER went to rehab with Amy Winehouse. Forget all of that; THESE are the things going through MY head this summer…
I guess I am FORCED to comment on Paris Hilton going to jail since this IS partly a pop culture blog and these days she is the biggest thing going. My whole thing is this: respected journalists who SHOULD be reporting on the catastrophe in Iraq or the potential American cultural shift of having a woman or black president are PRESSURED- either by programming managers (a.k.a., ratings whores) or by pop culture junkies (present company included!) who would rather stream TMZ.com than CNN.com- to chronicle EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of her incarceration! CNN dedicating half of their nightly news segment to PARIS HILTON? STOP PLAYIN!!!!! Watching Paris do jail time is about as interesting as hearing her repeat incessantly the only declarative statement she has ever made (“that’s hot!”). What about what Paris does AFTER she gets out of prison? How about THAT? As far as I’m concerned, unless she discovers the cure for the common cold (or AIDS), there’s nothing this woman can do that would change the public’s perspective of her as an “heir-head”…Let me put the Paris and Lindsay thing in perspective, so that it pertains to US- people of color…
FIRST it was dancing on club tabletops without panties. THEN it was the “Are Hollywood Actresses too thin?” issue. NOW it seems La Hilton and La Lohan have started ANOTHER trend, and once again it’s not an appealing one. Usually, WE are the trendsetters (and the early adopters) in this country, but thanks to two of the craziest white girls on the planet, drinking and driving appears to be "the new black" these days (or new amongst the blacks). Hollywood heavyweights like Nicole Richie, Halle Berry, Michelle Rodriguez, Shemar Moore, Vivica A. Fox, Tracy Morgan. Mike Tyson (that’s a surprise!) and Eve are partaking of the latest aperitif of 'alcohol mixed with automobile'. So in addition to being pulled over at disproportionate rates for “driving while black”, we now have to worry about “driving while black…AND drunk”? STOP PLAYIN, y’all…or visit MADD...
According to “REAL news”, counterfeit condoms are being sold in corner grocery stores (bodegas!) in Harlem. FAKE Magnum condoms being circulated in Harlem? ARE YOU SERIOUS? I mean, its hard enough to get the kids to USE safe sex, now you want to give them potentially faulty prophylactics? STOP PLAYIN!!!!! According to reports, fakes are “smaller”, have a sweet fragrance to them, and are packaged in cheap plastic squares (the real ones are packaged in heavy foil that bend to the touch…TRUST me!).
Conspiracy theorists should be all up in arms over this one. DUI may be 'the new black', but are “rogue rubbers” the new CRACK? Are those defective dick protectors being placed in poor neighborhoods (like that cheap psuedococaine of the 80s) in the continuing efforts of the right wing to rid this country of blacks, jews, and gays?
(By the way, for the complete skinny on how to verify your jimmy hats, you can contact parent company Church and Dwight at 800.575.2925, and remember to always try to get them from licensed pharmacies or reputable retail chains…Knowledge is POWER!)
Speaking of getting rid of blacks, jews, and gays: Jerry Falwell passed in May of this year.I’ve always been weary of organized religion’s “opinion” of the way that I choose to love, so it is with great ambivalence/ambiguity that I “recognize” the death of the “Reverend” Jerry Falwell- founder of the “Moral” Majority" (1979) and “LIBERTY University” (1971). With the proliferation of airquotes I just used, can't you just TASTE the sarcasm? Well apparently there is no moral freedom for the gays, as Falwell had spent a disproportionate amount of his time here on earth rallying against the civil liberties of the IMMORAL minority communities (you know- the gays, feminists, non-Christians, etc.) He once said “AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexualism." If we are to believe that we have a fair and just God, how can we possibly pit that belief against the idiotic dogma that the creation of this disease is divine retribution for a love that HE created? Falwell gets a resounding “STOP PLAYIN!!!!” And apparently- in the wake of his death- he has…
Someone else who has stopped playing (the role of Dr. Preston Burke on ABC’s ‘Grey’s Anatomy’, that is) is Isaiah Washington- after being fired from the hit show for making anti-homo remarks towards his homo co-star T.R. Knight.
Hmmmm... So let me get this right: its okay for repugnant political pundit Ann Coulter to vigorously defend her offensive anti-gay remarks with regard to a presidential candidate (the most UNintelligent epithet you can use while seemingly participating in intelligent political discourse); but let a brother slip up- then "man up" and apologize, go through “therapy” and the public tongue-lashing that came with it- and he is STILL out of a job? Makes you wanna say STOP PLAYIN!!!
VIDEO killed the R&B/pop star…
On the music front, one thing occurred to me about what I’m seeing on BET/VH-1 and the whole Viacom juggernaut lately. Here is the thought that found its way into the somewhat solipsistic bubble above my head…
Last season, Beyonce sealed it with her “videorama” for her ‘Bday’ CD, making videos for EVERY SINGLE on the album (and appearing flawlessly done in every last one of them!). Then Rihanna- perhaps taking a page from ‘Bey’, matures right before our eyes and ups the glam quotient with her uber-sexy video for ‘Umbrella’.
Not to be outdone, rapper (and trend-following DUI perpetrator) Eve- both while guesting on Kelly Rowland’s summer club-banger “Like This” AND bringing it through with the hyper-stylized video for her Swizz Beatz-produced lead single “Tambourine” - showed us what Lumineers and a BANGIN’ diet can do for your video.
My question is this…with all of this seemingly unattainable beauty in videos lately, can regular (albeit equally as talented) women like Fantasia, Faith Evans, and Missy even compete in the video game anymore? I mean, really…the bar is so high now that female artists can’t come out looking any old kind of way anymore. Any female artist that comes out now without a FIERCE stylist on her creative team is likely to be met with a resounding STOP PLAYIN!!!
One too many "Baby Boy"s...
Before I sign off, I have to say this: Any man 25 and older should cease infantilizing themselves by putting the misnomer “Lil” or any variation of “Young” in their names! There, I said it! ”. I’m going to spare Yung Joc (who just turned 24 in April), Lil Scrappy (who is 23) and Lil Romeo (who will be18 in August). However… Lil Wayne may be ‘lil’ in stature, but this year (according to a past arrest) he will be 28 damn years old!!! On top of that, he himself has fathered a “lil” girl! Lil Flip is 26, Lil Jon is 36 (YEAH, he is!). Even Lil Bow Wow (who just turned 20 this past March), dropped the juvenile-like moniker from his name and became just Bow Wow. Young Jeezy…ISN’T- he’ll be 30 in September! STOP PLAYIN!!! You all are grown ass men- act like it!
While we’re at it, let’s talk about Curtis ‘50 Cent’ Jackson. Now, I can’t knock his hustle as far as endorsements and business dealings go; in that respect he has gotten his "grown man" on and become smart about making his money. However, Mr Jackson- who is well into his thirties- is still topping the charts with singles like “Candy Shop” and his ‘07 hit “Amusement Park”. Can’t we leave those adolescent topics to up and comers like rap chanteuse Lil Mama (who, at only 17, has a right to talk about her lip gloss) or the next “big” Lil, Lil Boosie? Mr. Jackson (and all the rest of you) please…STOP PLAYIN!!!
But I digress…for now!!!
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