What's the "bochinche"?- Gossipfolks examined...

I'm feeling very "What is the meaning of LIFE?" right now, so I am going to get somewhat cosmic and thought-provoking on your asses for a minute! I want to talk about GOSSIP for a moment. You know, Rumors. Speculation. Allegation. Other People's Personal Business. And for my Latino brethren: 'Bochinche' ("bow-cheen-chay"). 'Chisme' ("cheez-meh").






I don't want to sound preachy, and I don't' want to make it seem as though I have exempted myself from participating in the "paying it forward" of other people's business before I became a MAN (and put those childish things aside).

Entertainment gossip- in its purest form- makes and breaks careers, and I suppose on a purely ephemeral level,keeps things interesting. It makes the world go 'round. It keeps Spin Doctors employed and celebrities' names in the spotlight- especially when its "juicy" gossip! But at what point does 'bochinche' become malicious, libelous slander? At what point does our preoccupation with the talented tenth become dangerous- when we would rather watch "Entertainment Tonight" or "Access Hollywood" than "CNN Headline News" or 60 Minutes"? Interestingly enough, both CNN Headline News AND 60 Minutes feature paparazzi-oriented segments as well...

Its natural for us as humans to muse about how and where Brangelina will bring their new seed into the world; about if Whitney will ever kick her habit; about if Paris Hilton really has herpes (yikes!). It humanizes them. It gives us "celeb-reality"; it makes them appear approachable, somewhat fallible, subject to the same tribulations that we "normal" people go through every day- even if we aren't making 7 million dollars a picture or selling 20 million records. It allows us to live vicariously through them. Its also somewhat aspirational; if we become intrinsically attached to the stories of how these mega-stars were once "ordinary people", it gives those who are trying to reach that level of recognizability hope of getting there.

I guess some parts of THE REAL RE-EDIT- specifically the "Questions For The Zeitgeist" entries- may perhaps ride the periphery of gossip. Some might call it passive-aggressive instigation. I prefer to think of it as pure speculative thought. However, NOTHING I say there reveals anything that any person who is blinking during the day isn't exposed to on a daily basis through newspapers, television, the internet or popular lore. I haven't (to date) inserted "blind items", wherein I change, omit or infer celebrities' names to further some piece of gossip that may or not be true. I deal in TRUTH, for the most part (my opinions notwithstanding- which may only contain SLICES of veritas). No question that I ask in those entries approach gospel; just the ramblings of a pop-culture-perverted mind.
That's the difference between THE REAL RE-EDIT and pure gossip. I take what is offered to us by celebrity PR gurus, political/entertainment journalists, and the general "chatterati" alike and turn it on its head; most times in a satirical, sardonic, or comical sense, but also sometimes as a result of genuine introspection. I think the absence of judgment (for the most part) and the presence of camp and the recognition of the ridiculous is what separates blogs like THE REAL RE-EDIT, Rod 2.0, SCL Cafe, et. al, from much-maligned (yet widely-read) publications like The National Enquirer, OK!, and The Star

That being said, I hope I give you something to think about every now and then, outside of the realm of celebrity shit-talk and movie-star minutiae. On the REAL, we can talk about whether Michael molested those boys or whether we think Luther was gay or whether Jennifer really is the bitchy diva that we hear she is until the cows come home; but AIDS, racism, and poverty will still be part of our collective lives after we finish talking about each of those topics. Hmmmmm....


Well, that's enough of that...By the way, have you seen how Janet, on the eve of the release of her new CD, has whittled herself down to a size 4?



(couldn't help myself!!!)

OK, I digress...back to your regularly-scheduled program...

Countdown to "Dreamgirls"...

It looks like they MIGHT get it right!!! Dreamworks/Paramount have assembled a stellar cast reprising one of the most beloved plays in the history of (dare I say 'black'?) musicals. In everything- from the choice of talent to the marketing strategies and production values- the planets appear to be aligning to bring the type of excitement and black celebrity wattage to the screen not seen in this genre since "The Wiz". Academy Award- winning screenplay writer Bill Condon ("Gods and Monsters") helms the directorship of the film, teamed with the very capable hands of Oscar-nominated producer Laurence Mark ("Jerry Maguire", "As Good As It Gets"). Names like Academy-award winning production designer John Myhre ("Chicago") and the ever-talented music video choreographer Fatima Robinson add extra talent pedigree behind the camera.

The brightest and most recognizable names in front of the camera headlining this imminent blockbuster are of course Beyonce, Jamie Foxx, Danny Glover, Hinton Battle and Eddie Murphy. In a daring and perhaps ingenious set of casting moves, movie screen novice Anika Noni Rose (most notable for her appearance in the Broadway play "Caroline, or Change") and "American Idol" favorite Jennifer Hudson- along with Beyonce- round out the trio around whom the storyline revolves. It would seem that the play's original director, producer and choreographer, Michael Bennett, would be proud with the choices. With all of this talent onscreen and off, it should be interesting around Oscar time next year...

And now,The RE-EDIT:

Jennifer Hudson is going to REALLY have to come with it!!! I was one of those pulling for her to beat out Fantasia for the coveted role of Effie White in what should be THE Christmas season 2006 mega-hit. We've seen countless reprisals and traveling companies offering their productions - none of which managed to capture the undeniable magic of the original cast; even vocal powerhouse Frenchie Davis couldn't match Jennifer Holliday's Torch Song rendition of "And I am Telling You I'm Not Going". Perhaps the only artist who came CLOSE to capturing the power of La Holliday's trademark song was Shirley Murdock, who covered it on her 1988 CD "A Woman's Point of View". Good luck, JHud!

But when you are competing with performances like this, the task can be daunting.


Very few can compare to Holliday's fire, conviction, and command of the play's most popular song with wreckless (and impeccable) abandon.



It looks like the Dreamgirls PR machinery is gearing up...I can't wait to see it!

Questions for the Zeitgeist- May 1, 2006

1- With Denzel’s lukewarm reception in last year’s “Julius Caesar”, Ali MacGraw’s not-so-critically-acclaimed return to the public eye in “Festen”, and now Julia Roberts’ questionable debut in “Three Days of Rain” : Are movie stars with little to NO theatrical training beginning to realize why they’re MOVIE stars?


2- Given his Page Six “payola-scheme-gone-wrong”, who in the world would want to be Jared Paul Stern right now?


3- Okay, so someone got arrested trying to parachute off of the Empire State Building. The REAL question is: when is someone going to try to skateboard down the ramp at the (newly-refurbished) Prada store in Soho?

4- With a CD that went “triple-wood”, a collection of movies that grossed less than the total of a Paris Hilton shopping spree, and the recent revelation that he cheated notoriously on his girl/self-proclaimed best friend Christina Milian, exactly how WACK is Nick Cannon? And when is he going to stop trying to be this generation’s Will Smith?

5- When, in the last 2 months, have you heard ANYONE say the words “Hillary for President”?

6- Does anyone really care about 50 Cents’ beef with Oprah?

7- Why do gay nuptials destroy the sanctity of marriage (according to Christian Right Fundamentalists), but 2 women wearing wedding dresses fighting over a dwarf on the Jerry Springer show…not?

Questions for the Zeitgeist- April 29, 2006

1- With the "childbirth trifecta" of Gwyneth, TomKat and Brangelina, does anyone care that Brooke Shields and Paul Wall also had additions to their families? And being the media WHORE that she is, why didn’t Kimora Lee try to get knocked up 9 months ago so she could compete in the tabloids? Was she too busy trying to push “Fabulosity”?
















2- Are Amanda Lepore and “plastic surgery psycho” Jenny Lee this generation’s Jocelyn Wildenstein?













3- With the Whitney fiasco in full swing, does anyone care that Mike Tyson is also in rehab for HIS coke addiction? Also, is the monkey still on Rush Limbaugh’s back?

4- There are those of us who are struggling financially. Some of us are just plain broke. However, with gas prices up to $3 a gallon, with each penny costing the United States Mint 1.4 cents to produce (due to rising copper and zinc prices), and with not being able to snatch a decent pair of jeans for less than $200, how can ANYONE afford to be POOR anymore???




5- Swimsuit model May Andersen arrested for assaulting a flight attendant. Naomi possibly going to the clink for assaulting her assistants. Kate Moss a confirmed coke whore. Beverly Peele pulling stunts with other people’s credit cards. What’s next, Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington, Yasmeen Ghauri and Helena Christiansen teaming up to rob Wachovia Bank (a la “Set it Off”)?…







6- Are Persia White and Tricky this generation’s Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz?


7- Considering the ongoing dissent amongst the ranks of this administration regarding its continuation and its initial necessity challenged by both major parties, is Iraq this generation’s Vietnam?

8- Is Kehinde Wiley this generation’s Jean-Michel Basquiat? With the release of the Basquiat sneaker, is Reebok pushing art history or capitalism?


9- Doesn’t Jennifer Lopez get major props for ramping up her fashion game by going from the famous Versace dress to genuine fucking couture in this month’s Bazaar?

10- Never mind Carmen San Diego, where in the F*&#K is BET's '106 & Park' alum FREE? OK, she hosts her own radio show on LA’s 100.3 The Beat, but why has she dropped off the social register? And where is her damn CD that’s been coming out for the last 2 years?








11- We ALL know that Vanessa Williams went on to great things after “the incident”…but where is Suzette Charles?



12- With 6 first-place victories in the last 7 races of the Boston Marathon, what the HELL are they feeding those Kenyan women?

13- They purport to be the leading American fashionistas. They urge the contestants to be “edgy” and “versatile”. SOOOOO...Why haven’t ‘America’s Next Top Model’ authorities Nigel Barker, Jay Manuel and Twiggy bothered to change their looks in AT LEAST the last THREE years? At the VERY least, Mr. Manuel’s bleached blond Bart Simpson look should have been shelved a LOOOOONG time ago (try 2 cycles ago! YAWN! SNORE!)…The English librarian effect that Twiggy rocks; the tailored blazer and unbuttoned stripped dress shirt that Nigel has pushed SINCE THE SHOW’S INCEPTION. Why are Tyra and the ever-opinionated Jay Alexander the only ones that put in the effort to give us something new from week to week? Yet you expect the chicks to give something different every week? C’mon: shouldn’t you bring it like u want it brought?





but I digress...

Questions for the Zeitgeist- April 15, 2006

1- Where the HELL is the once ubiquitous Donatella Versace?

2- If Hillary Clinton challenger Kathleen McFarland couldn’t find time to vote in 6 of the last 14 elections due to “the realities of family life”, why would I find time to go out and vote for HER? Moreover, if ‘familial reality’ is so overwhelming, how did those people in Dade County and Ohio manage to make it to the polls- only to be turned away for one reason or another?

3- The Smithsonian’s multi-year initiative for the National Museum of American History’s exhibit "Hip-Hop Won't Stop: The Beat, the Rhymes, the Life.": is this Hip Hop’s apex or its nadir?

4- She is an absolute GODDESS on the runway and is the editorial equivalent of a cash cow, but… with this being the third time we’ve heard basically the same story, isn’t it time for Naomi Campbell to go to jail? How many staff members have to be assaulted before somebody stops this crazy chick? At least Lil Kim didn’t beat anybody across the cranium…

5- LOVE the CD, LOVE the sassiness, LOVE the realness and all that, but…with that “Ronald McDonald meets big bird” two-tone mane and “not-quite-ghetto-fab” gear, do Keyshia Cole’s stylists hate her?


6- Isn’t The Startec MP3 Airlink -2 space-saving aluminum squares which allows you to connect ANY device with a 3.5mm headphone jack to a stereo or external speakers without any wires, bringing webcast programming and IPod functionality to places beyond where your stereo speakers can reach- the smartest fucking piece of technology of the year? No more tacky wires from your computer/laptop to your internal or external speakers! Won’t that make home offices, Plasma TVs and home theatre systems a LOT slicker?

7- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Strokes, Franz Ferdinand, The White Stripes, Interpol, The Ark, et al- Are kick-ass 80’s rock bands (I mean, TRUE guitar-strumming ROCK) coming back with a vengeance.?


8- Isn’t designer Jeremy Scott’s limited edition, pop culture clash of Adidas high-tops and a never-before-used Keith Haring textile print one of the hottest wardrobe pieces going right now (available at Barney’s nationwide)?











9- From complete ridicule back to the top of her game; is former waif/former cokehead/former Burberry, Chanel, and H&M spokesmodel/ former AND CURRENT Calvin Klein spokesmodel Kate Moss another candidate for the “ultimate hustler”? Why hasn’t Beverly Peele (who will appear on The Tyra Banks show on April 17th), taken a page out of Kate’s playbook?

10- Is Ghostface Killah (whose new CD “Fishscale” is SICK!!!) the most underrated rapper in the game right now? Is he representing for the “grown ass man” rapper contingent, or WHAT?


11- Adriana Lima: absolutely beautiful woman, Victoria’s Secret royalty. Why is she most known for being, as GQ Magazine coined her, “the world’s most voluptuous virgin”? And do the debates over whether her hymen has actually been broken or not even qualify as fodder, or should those involved in those discussions get up from their computers, get out of the house and be more social?

12- How absolutely BRILLIANT was it of NEW YORK MAGAZINE to run a mock cover of Baby Brangelina’s first photos (with fake Brad, fake Zahara, and computer-generated Angelina)? Doesn’t it make the waiting -with bated breath! - for the arrival of the most popular child in recent history (sorry Lourdes and Apple!) seem sooooo trivial? Doesn’t it serve us right for being so caught up in other folks’ business? But I digress...

Questions for the Zeitgeist- March 2006

At brunch or at dinner, Discuss amongst yourselves...



1- If H&R Block got busted by the IRS for under-reporting their state income taxes by $35 million, what does that mean for MY tax return?


2- He is, admittedly, a successful musician and an amazing DJ. To the astonishment of many, he snags arguably one of the most desirable women on the planet (the irrepressible and uber-ubiquitous Pamela Anderson). Then he hooks up with Tamara Mellon, CEO/founder of the stiletto powerhouse Jimmy Choo (second only to Manolo Blahnik in outfitting a woman’s arch PERFECTLY). Exactly how big IS Kid Rock’s dick? Exactly how “Cocky” is he? And are we ready for the sex tape?




3- Is Al Reynolds the 'Tesman' to Star Jones-Reynolds’ Hedda? Or is he really her 'Judge Brack' ?

4- A successful diffusion line with Target. Another highly-stylized TV show (this time on the Oxygen channel). A stint interviewing/feeling up celebrities as a red carpet correspondent on E! A brilliant turn in designing the costumes for Neil Simons’ revival of “Barefoot In the Park” to within a stitch of their lives. Is there anything that Isaac Mizrahi can’t do well?

5- In the recent and indisputable “expose” of the fraudulent existence of author/hermit/urban legend JT Leroy, why isn’t New York magazine’s Stephen Beachy (who blew Leroy’s cover last September and was subsequently lambasted by those in the media and the general population who were still being completely manipulated) doing the “I told you so” dance? Good Job, Mr. Beachy!! Seems like more than just the heart is deceitful above all things…

6- We laud Harvard University as the petri dish of academia of the highest order. So exactly how smart was it of their faculty board to fire recent president Larry Summers for postulating that perhaps men and women MIGHT think differently pertaining to math and science? Moreover, how smart was it for the only person of color to resign from the board, citing Summers’ “insensitivity”? Finally, how do you fire said president, yet then extend the invitation for him to return as a university professor? Can Mr. Summers have his own academic opinions, or is the post of university president indeed a popularity contest? Since when is debate dead in academia?

7- Okay, he’s been beeping repeatedly on our radar (i.e., we’ve been on his dick) since his fly-ass exhibit at The Brooklyn Museum last year. We peeked through crowds and (unsuccessfully) waited our turn to get a word with him when we spied him attending an exhibit at The Studio Museum in Harlem. We praised his art history references (his intelligent juxtaposition of African-American presence in ‘traditional’ art form context have his commissions commanding top dollar from Wall Street types and artsy-fartsy bigwigs alike). We gave him props for his powerful b-boy/MC imagery when he rocked us with his renderings-cum-advertisements for VH-1’s Hip Hop Awards. Now his teaming with Paige Premium Denim (in which he silkscreens a decidedly BLACK young man onto a HOT jean blazer) is the hottest wardrobe piece going right now. Isn’t art-crowd hottie Kehinde Wiley the "shiznit"? Isn’t he just KILLIN’ it right now?

8- How fierce was it for Paper Magazine to do that retrospective/homage to Jean-Paul Goude in their March issue?

9- “Dave Chappelle’s Block Party”- Wouldn’t we all want to assemble our favorite artists for a customized free concert, then film it as a documentary and give respect to established artists (Common, Jill Scott, The ‘muthafuckin’ Roots) and exposure to underrated groups (Dead Prez)? Throw in a SICK reunion (The Fugees), and you get props, props, props…

10- Okay, we’ve seen the brilliant “Bridge and Tunnel” and the critically-acclaimed “In the Continuum”. Step three: Will Powers’ (who has been compared artistically to Sarah Jones) directorship of “The Seven” at the New York Theatre Workshop. Startlingly creative ‘hip-hop Shakesperean theatre’ based on Aeschylus’ “Seven Against Thebes”. If they extend it past March 12th (or find another venue for it), will New Yorkers bite? If so, shouldn’t they just kick “The Blue Man Group” out of the Astor Place Theatre to make room? Enough schtick already...

11- Will new anti-aging skin cream Orchidee Imperiale (which features the technically-enhanced molecular structure of four different orchids) become the new “Crème De La Mer”-forcing Park Avenue biddies, magazine beauty editors, and Jennifer Lopez-ish skin devotees alike to do battle at the counters of Bergdorf Goodman’s for that $350 “glow”?

12- He emerges from the wasteland of FM radio to cement his presence on the guilty pleasure/runaway hit/cash cow “American Idol”. After his highly-bankrolled TV show is cancelled, he has managed to emerge, unscathed, as a serious contender on the E! channel- heading the circus of red-carpet interviewers and securing yet another highly-bankrolled show which keeps his name in the pop collective’s mouths. Should Ryan Seacrest have submitted an application to Damon Dash to vie for the title “The Ultimate Hustler”?

13- A Bathing Ape, Red Monkey, Nom de Guerre, Ice Creams, Evisu, et al. With all of these high-end experimental denim/footwear lines finding their way onto rappers, 125th Street and Soho alike, is hip hop becoming more and more punk new-wave (or is it simply returning to the punk-new wave aesthetic/philosophy that the movement/culture was borne out of in the 70’s- albeit with far less expensive originations- via BVD, Adidas, Kangol, etc.)? Take note Timberland…

14- We didn’t need Kanye West’s video for “Touch The Sky” to tell us this, but…Hasn’t Nia Long reigned for AT LEAST the last 10 years as THE flyest black chick/blactress in the game? And she’s STILL keeping it tight! I’m gonna put it out there- Nia Long is a GODDESS!!!

15-Even with the more recent and somewhat gratuitious proliferation of cartoon characters of “questionable sexual orientation” (Mr.Garrison on ‘South Park’, Captain Hero on ‘Drawn Together’, some might argue Spongebob Squarepants, etc…), isn’t The Great Gazoo- the helmet-headed miniature green martian from “The Flintstones”-STILL the queeniest of them all? I don’t care how gay these newer animated fairies are, NO ONE had wittier one-liners or a more fey intonation than that ‘fag from the future’. Bravo, Hanna-Barbera!

That's enough for now...